My story of Acne

I have never suffered very bad acne during my childhood and teen.
But, it all started to go bad after i was about 23 or 24 (around 2011 to 2012)
I remember it was after i have protein shakes and not working out to the max.
First, they are just big ones but not so many of them. They appeared mostly below the jawline.

So, to cure it, i went to the dermatologist, in one reputable clinic in Jakarta, called E*HA.
First weeks and first 2 to 3 months were good, no acne. Practically, the cream they gave me was really working. However, when i went back home one day, and run out of the cream, the acne beginning to come out again. Back then, i was thinking "this thing was really addictive" and hence i decided not to use it anymore even when i got back to Jakarta.

And the nightmare began. It went from bad to worse. My cheek and jawline were full of acne.
They were these big ones, and painful cysts. I was still firm with my decision, not to go to E*RHA again. And then I began trying to cure the acne myself by using all kinds of soap and acne medication available for sale. Nothing really works noticeably, except for Sebamed if I have to say.

There was about 10 months in which I tried to cure it myself. Back then, I was disappointed at dermatologist. I hate E*HA for what it did to me. I think the cream they gave me was full of steroid, that was why it worked very fast. If I could rewind the time, I would never use their service in the first place. I would rather just have some acne now and then rather than “bam, and there you go”.

After that, I started visiting a dermatologist, Dr. Ernestine who opens a clinic near the cempaka putih area. Well, I think she cured my acned, even though they still came back, they were pretty under control.

The bad news is that, for now, I am still battling with the acne scars left from my years of acne. I hate it. That is why, sometimes I blame E*HA for doing this to me. I hate it that I decided to go to them back then, in which I know now, that I SHOULDN’T.

Right now, I am still taking Acnetrex. I have been taking it for about 4 months, and everything is good. I have no real complaints, except for the noticeable dry lips. But, IMO it is just a small price to pay for a clear skin. I am on 10mg per day, btw.

MY ONLY REGRET TAKINT THIS DRUG IS WHY I DIDN'T TAKE IT EARLIER. If I had, I would have been saved from all these scaring which will always remind me of what has happened in this face. I really think that people will severe or moderate acne should consider taking this drug. I really will take this drug if i had known sooner.

Manila 2013

Manila 2013
=========

Got assigned to a project in Manila for .. hm.. who knows how long ?
let's just wait and see.
But, so far the city is good, it is kind of like Jakarta "traffic-wise"
But i have to comment ya, the people here, many of them are good looking, but meh, i dunno..

Okay, i will not forget my new year resolution.
having a good and more proportional body (or you can sum it up in one word "sexy") is a must
yosh !! i have to do it. been delaying this dream for far too long.

Maybe i will buy an S4 or Note 2 pretty soon.
My blackberry is kinda out of date. Sigh, bad camera, and limited usage also.
(well, can't blame blackberry though, it is i who hasn't changed my handphone for about 2 or 3 years..lol)

Writing this at late night
But i have been staying up late for a few days now, the works is kinda hectic.
Just trying to control my stress

Okay, time to sleep..

PS: Loving this song "I have nothing" by Whitney Houston currently.
Found a good youtube video, which is sung by a male (travis kim, if i am not mistaken)
Good song and good voice, you should try to take a peek :D

Singapore - Back to Jakarta

Well, writing and posting this from the Singapore, Changi Airport.
It has been a good experience for about 3 weeks in Singapore.

In short, went to:
- Bugis Junction (of course), the nearest mall from my client's place. In fact, going back through this mall to the hotel is better. Well conditioned rooms and a shortcut (probably)

- Mustafa Center, a place with so many things to sell and buy at cheaper price. Some of it items are cheaper by 2 SGD or so if compared with other shops (like W******, etc)

- Sim Lim Square.. Nuh, when i went there, many shops are closed already. Plus the gossips that the sellers are all not so friendly, so i don't even asked around

- Vivo City, this is a place i went to in order to get to Sentosa Island. A big mall, with many things to sell also. But, oh well, i am thinking, Jakarta has many malls also. so... Anyway, going to the Sentosa Island through the boardwalk.

- Sentosa Island, a resort island of Singapore. The admission fee was 1 SGD. Many places and attractions to see. Ate a malay Hokkian Mee Prawn. I think this tasted like laksa. The broth is prawny, with beansprouts, pork, 2 prawns and of course..hokkian me (as the name suggest). Bought this for about 5 SGD.

- Universal Studios, an amusement park, kind of like Dufan (if you've been to Ancol, Indonesia, then you know what Dufan is). Didn't go in, just walking around.

- Marine Life Park. This was the main attraction i went to that day. Well, first of all, i have to say, never go to this kind of place in a public holiday. The queue is too long. 1st hour spent queing for tickets without realizing the queue for the entrance is also a very long one. So, another 1 hour
queing for the entrance (should have purchased the Priority Queue next time), or ask someone to queue for you and you queue for the ticket.. win win =). Forgot to mention that the weather was very hot. I sweat a lot, which i rarely do. After getting in, the air was cool. But then again, when i asked the attendant "where is the aquarium?" He just said "you go straight and turn right". "Omg, another queue" yes, one more hour for the queue.

The aquarium itself is pretty okay. Big panels, many species of fishes and the inside was nice, clean and cool. Just didn't realized many sharks' species was considered threatened. Spend 29 SGD here. I would say worth it, but the queue was kind of frustating.

- Gardens by the bay. The gardens here was nice. Yea, gardens, because it consist of many gardens: Indian Garden, Chinese Garden, Malay Garden, etc2... The conservatories were really good. Flower dome and Cloud Forest. Flower dome was fragrant. I think it was lavender. Cloud Forest has this man-made waterfall, with the wind tunnels provided also!

The entrance fee for the domes are 28 SGD for non singaporean. It is worth it also. If you don't want to enter the dome, you can just walk around, it was free.

One thing to note though, Singapore is very sunny and rainy. It rains almost 2 or 3 days once. Always remember to bring your umbrella or hat. And use sunscreen or sunblock. You will be thankful if you do.

- Shopping spree. Well, i called it shopping free, even though i only bought 5 clothes. But if you know me, that is a lot in once shopping. The design of the clothes are good, and they fit. Not so many brands fit me, but this one do... Spent around 118 SGD shopping.

- Claiming GST refund at Changi airport is really easy. You just go to the GST refund counter, bring your passport and the invoices from the vendor, sign something and then you are done. You are then directed to the inside of the departure to claim your money. I got 5 SGD refund for that 118 SGD spent.

Too bad, this time going to Singapore, i only got some photos due to my phone was broken. Had it worked well, i would hav ebeen able to grab more pictures for this blog. I am sure it will be worth it.

Fresh February

February 2013

This was the month i start anew in the term of career path.
I left my old company and join a new company in a hope of getting a better financial state and of course the experience of multinational exposure in consulting (which are fulfilled a few months later, thank God for that).

I moved back to Jakarta.
Well, the first week is orientation, but i use the next few weeks waiting for assignment, learning new stuffs and of course (as usual) working and providing support for my last project as well.




It is not a must, but it is more of a moral and "kind" responsibility you have towards your client as a consultant. You kinda feel responsible for the system you built and I don't know any consultants out there, but i am happy and satisfied if the clients said that the system helped them in their reporting.

Let's see how long and how far i can go with my current company.

Okay, this month is a Valentine day. Ah well, i didn't celebrate valentine day this time. Well, not very celebrative-ly, but yea, i have someone to celebrate it with this year. Had a dinner at Plaza Senayan, walked around a bit and then went home. So, i am grateful for it.

January oh January

Whoa.. my blog has been left unattended for a few months..
Okay, the recap of the January, Feb and March of 2013.

January - continuation -
This January was as usual, after the project "Go Live", everything is just okay for a few two weeks.
I even got a chance to go home for a vacation for one week. Well, one week is eventually not enough, but better than nothing, right? So, my home is as usual, I love the smell of the rain there, I also love to see the street crowded with cars and bikes and people walking by. I just love it.

Me and a few of my high school friends met and went out for a late supper. Well, no supper for me, watching out for my waist-line. We went to Kok Tong kopitiam at Megaland shops cluster i believe.

Oh, i met my nephews for a few days, they are as cute as usual, if not cuter!!
The little one is soooo "gemesin", ah, his smile is just soooo cute.
Can't wait to get back and just hold em again...
Hope that both of them can grow to be a good man and love their parents, especially their mother.

Okay, so i got back to Surabaya eventually and start the last-week-before-closing week at my clients. Everything just went by so fast. I even have to work at Saturday and Sunday just to be able to "close" in time. Well, long story short, everything went by okay, and thus that mark my last week with my company.

 

PS: okay, it doesn't snow in January in my place, just like the pic :)

Choosing a new handphone

Since i am thinking of enjoying life more and be more carefree.
My current one is a bit outdated, it doesn't take good photos...

I am thinking of buying a new smartphone to help me keep tracks of my daily life, so that i can easily update it to my blog. Who knows, that i might one day be a narcist and upload most of my encounters (plainly just people on the street, or the delicacies that i am about to eat) ^_^

Well, who knows?

Currently thinking of buying an Iph*ne 5 or Samsung Galaxy N*te 2.
Personally, like the second one better, but it is a bit too big as a phone.
But, imo, the first one takes better pictures.

Thinking of buying a cheap Chinese made android tab just to familiarize myself with android, plus i can play if i want to. But, if i am about to buy the second one, i am thinking, why do i need another tab?

My budget is limited also, hm...
With so many things lining up waiting to be bought.
I am thinking that this can wait (should be).
So, oh well, probably just wait and see until march or may of 2013.

Year 2013 Resolutions

My Year 2013 Resolutions:

- Have my own car and drive it
- Have my own place
- Learn a new SAP module at least (FI or PS will do)
- Join a gym and be more sexy ;)
- Find a good dermatologist (mine right now is okay, but too far away)
- Have a vacation abroad with my family)
- Taking care of my wardrobe. ew...well, refer to resolutions no 4
- Save up to 100 million IDR at least.
- Get ready for a new job next year (preferably abroad)
- Enjoy life with my love :)

Let's see which one are fulfilled.
Preferably will be able to update this blog of mine regularly and more with photos.
2013, please be good :)

Sincerely,
Me

Recap of 2012

Another year has passed and well, as usual, it passed really quickly.

Since, i have been neglecting this blog for a few while, i am thinking of highlighting the 2012 events:

- Jan
My project at Cikarang went live. Doing support for 2 months until the Feb.

- Feb
Got relocated to Surabaya for another project starting the 13th of February. Yea, got only 1 day of free from work day, which is the Sunday to prepare for the move.
Got the project number 9 (will upload this when i remember and have time, just for the sake of memory treasuring). Many thought that this project will be a very stressful and difficult one. Well, as it turns out, it is by far, correct.

- March -April
Got nothing much to report, just as usual, project and exploring Surabaya.
Will see if i have any good photos to upload to Facebook

- May
Met someone at Santika hotel Jakarta, who turns out just "disappearing" 2 weeks after.
Someone i should have forgotten, but it turns out i still remember.
Even though nothing happens, but still, it has been a part of my life journey and my memory.

- June - July
Nothing much to report, just as usual, project :)
Oh, i remembered, i bought a voucher at a website to take care of my skin.
Let's hope that it will be better

- August
Went back to home at Siantar for holiday for about 2 weeks.

- September - October
Seeing that my contract is about to end, been trying to find a job
Emailed my boss to ask about my employment.

- November
Got the new job at Deloitte office after about 3 weeks of interviewing process.
Doubting whether to go for freelancing or permanent.
Chose the permanent one after thinking about it for 2 weeks.
Right now hoping that i made the correct choice

- December
It is the month of love for me.
Met another one, and have been in a relationship with that one until today (this post is written)
2012 is ending, well, some people in this world are afraid that it will be the end of the world at 20.12.2012.
I however, don't believe that, because i still hold firm my belief that only God knows when that will happen, not humans.

Kind of excited about new year, with the new job, new relationship, new opportunities will arise.

Goodbye 2012, and welcome 2013 :)
Hopefully it will be a year of good fortune, health and love for me and everyone i know :)

Hair Cut Compliments

09 July 2012,

Went to have a hair cut, got a nice compliment from the lady hairdresser.
She is probably someone in her fifties.
So, here goes the conversation:



Lady: "Mau gunting gimana?"
Me: "Err, model yang gimana yang cocok ya?"
Lady: "Yang kek gitu aja?" (while referring to two guys who have just got their hair cut)
Me: "Err, okay"
Lady: "Mau ospek ya?"
Me: "Err, bukan. Saya sudah 25 tahun"
Lady: "Wah, masih imut kamu ya, tak kira baru mau masuk kuliah"

Lol.
Thanks for the compliments
Well, it really made my night :)

To Someone with Initial A

To the one with initial A,


I wonder how you are doing at the moment..
I wonder if you will ever know this..
But when i say this, believe that it is true
There is never a day that goes by without me thinking of you..

I can only hope that you are fine wherever and whenever you are
I really really like you, and that's all i really know...
And for that reason only...
I am still right here waiting for you...

New Page

It feels like ages since i last wrote in this blog.
Hm, actually, i have never read all those post before.
Well, maybe i feel embarrassed or probably because i just go lazy, who knows.

Anyway, ada kalimat ini neh "yang lalu biarlah berlalu, mari kita buka lembaran baru"
Bener ya :)

So, here goes...I will try to fill this blog again with my life happenings, well, hopefully not only with things that are sad or sound desperate or something like that

Decision of notes

It is the end of another weekend,
Jakarta is surprisingly cool tonight..
I intended to rewrite and delete some of the posts i have made, regarding you and me...
But, when i was about to delete one of those, i thought "hey, these are original thoughts, real feelings back then"

Another thought came out too, it says "hey, delete it, what if you decide to publish your blog one day for public, and all of it is just about your personal feeling?"

Hm...so, i stopped for a while, thinking of what i must do with all those personal posts. Then with a suggestion from a friend, too...i decided to keep it original, after all, it is my true story, right?

Maybe one day, i will re-read these, and smile or laugh or whatever, but i decided that they are here to stay :) About the blog being not interesting or it being too emotional, etc..i will think of a way to make it readable again...

How to make dragon roll

Well, i love cooking since i was a high school student, but recently, that passion for cooking is alive again..So, here you go...

Ingredients:

2 cups sushi rice.
2-3 nori sheets
10 medium size shrimps (sushi grade).
1/2 cup Tempura
1 Avocado
1 Cucumber (long and even)
50gr Tobiko (flying fish roe)
50gr BBQed eel (sushi grade).
Dragon roll sushi
Dragon roll sushi
Taken by palalalapolly
Making the dragon roll

First thing first, mix the tempura with a little bit of water and stir until combined to a think even mixture. Cut off shrimp tails, and dip the shrimps, one by one, in tempura mixture and deep fry for about 30 sec or until the outside gets golden-brownish.

Tip - leave one shrimp for each roll with the tail uncut to place sticking out of the roll's rear as if it was the dragon's tail.

Slice the cucumber into long slices, and use a peeler to peal thin avocado layers.

Spread the rice on the nori sheet, and flip it over the mat so that the rice is now facing upwards. Lay the avocado the cucumber stiks you have precutted, and line up some tempura shrimps and on top of that slices of eel. Roll it inside-out style and cut the endings, but leave the rest whole for now.

Elegantly, cover the top of the roll with the layers of avocado you made with the peeler, and use the bamboo matt to tighten it to the roll.

Use a little spoon to carefully spread some Tobiko on the roll. You can cover the intire roll with it, or just the top side - it's your call.

Now you can cut, and reline the roll in a shape of a dragon. You can use your imagination to create dragon eyes from tobiko, and dragon antennas from carrot stiks.

Best served with teriyaki sauce on top, and soy sauce aside.

Enjoy!

Our Closure

It has been such a long time since we last met, well, i just have time to enter my blog just now. So, the last time we met was when you were going to Malang again. Again, thank you and your family so much, for everything. We have had our time and our shots, everything that needs to be said and done has been said and done...

Actually, i was thinking of deleting most of this blog entries that revolves around us, haha, because when i read it again, i feel so ashamed, u know that i am easily ashamed and my face will turn to red., Even now, my face seems to be hot, haha... Anyway, i decided not too, because memories will live on, even though we are not together anymore.

That is okay, I am fine and happy now...
Don't worry about me, I know you will be fine and i will be well too :)

Everything is over
I know it is for the best
I just hope that both of us will be happy
I won’t shed a tear for you anymore
What we have is over
And we have to go each of our own ways
Good luck, my friend
I can at last say that I am happy
Thank you for everything

A Weekend Together

Nah, ini cerita kita lagi, setelah si PenPen pulang. Malamnya hanya diabisin buat ngobrol yah. Besoknya pas si acha masuk, lu ketiduran terus, dia bilang “si itu tidur garuk2”, haha... Y uda, gw tutupin pake selimut, :)

Minggunya, nyokap sama bokap ke bandara jemput koko, nah, di sini lu ajarin gw main piano sama masak spagetti, hehe... well, i had fun :)

Hm, i was really happy these 3 days...
When i ask you, you said you are happy too...
I think this is a really good start for us...
You just have to give us more time...
Trust in me and you....
I really hope that we can still do this

PS:
gw jd ingat kalimat "jangan bla bla bla..."
haha, kalau emank ketemu lagi, jgn ingatin gw akan hal itu XD"

First Encounter with Pen

Hari Jumat ini, gw ikut teman gw pulang dari kantor ke Teluk Gong. Lu bilang ada PenPen di sana. Gw pikir. “Ok, ketemu mah ketemu aja, toh memang kalau dia teman lu, gak ada salahnya gw ketemu sama dia”. Begitu sampai di daerah teluk gong, gw minta teman gw nurunin gw di indomart.

Hmm...awalnya sih gw minta diturunin di sana, karena gw sendiri mulai ragu, mau ketemu dia atau enggak, makanya pas itu gw telepon lu lagi. Tapi habis telepon itu gw uda bertekad, “ya, tak ada yang perlu ditakutkan, toh harus dihadapi juga”. Tapi setidaknya, gw gak bisa kasih dia lihat kalau “mantan” lu itu amburadul dan acak-acakan....(yea, i hate to admit it, but that is what we are now)... Haha, makanya gw beli alat cukuran di sana, sekalian shampoo karena gw kira shampoo di rumah uda mau abis, tapi ternyata masih ada yang gede...haha....

Tau gak gw cukurannya di mana? Di depan rumah lu, di samping gapura yang mau masuk itu, untung gak digong-gong in tuh pada..Haha...

Setelah semua selesai, gw uda mau masuk, tapi terdengarnya suara piano, ya gw uda tau itu lu, siapa lagi . Ya akhirnya gw mondar mandir di luar sambil telepon. Sampai akhirnya lu bukain....

Begitu masuk, kenalan sama si PenPen, trus mandi. Habis itu ngobrol bentar sama nyokap tentang kekuatiran dia ke lu. Dan gw rasa semuanya uda gw omongin ke lu malam itu...

Hm...i have to admit that, you did some romantic small things that only couples do (even with PenPen in the room). Gak tau yah kalau memang gw yang lebay sendiri atau memang lu juga ada merasa “sedikit” rasa di hati, only you know that. Mulai dari main-mainin karet, sampai merah terus lu elus-elus...abis itu lu tidur nyender pakai bantal di kaki gw while touching my hands...

Dufan Ancol

31 Maret 2011 - Dufan Ancol -

Hari ini adalah hari pertama kita jalan berdua sejak sekian lama. Hehe...
Pertama kali naik hysteria, serem juga liatnya dari atas ke bawah, haha... Halilintar sampai 4 kali kemaren yah :P. Naik boom boom car tapi gak bisa jalan, cape deh...dapat mobil yang rusak-rusak. Hujan sebentar dan makan apa lagi kalau bukan McD di sana.

Gw bener2 sangat senang hari ini, bisa menemani lu dan ditemanin oleh lu ke sana.
Malamnya jam 3 lu pinjam telp, gw uda mulai curiga ada hal yang gak beres. Tapi gw pinjamin dan gw ketiduran.... Abis lu balik, gw ada tanya ke lu, di situlah lu cerita kalau misalnya lu sudah tak berharap pada dia...Jika seandainya kau berpikir bahwa gw senang saat mendengar ini, gw bisa jawab ke lu, “tidak”. Yang gw pikirkan kemaren hanya, bagaimana perasaan lu, apakah lu sedih atau kecewa? Di saat itu juga, lu bilang kalau sebenarnya lu pernah cerita ke si MixMax tentang kita, dan lu sudah mencoba membuka hati lu ke gw.

I really thank you for that, i do...

Cuma gini, ini pandangan gw yah, pada saat itu, ketika lu mencoba membuka hati lu ke gw, di dalam hati lu sudah ada dia, jadi wajar saja jika gw gak bisa masuk ke sana. Benar kan, mana bisa lu masukin gw ke sana sedangkan di hati lu ada dia? Satu permintaan gw, ud...

Don’t give up on us, not yet....
I still love you, and i still have faith for both of us

Saat lu bilang lu ingin dapat kehidupan yang baru di aussie, 1 pihak gw senang, 1 pihak lagi gw sedih, karena itu artinya gw gak akan bisa melihat lu lagi, setidaknya tidak jika lu di aussie dan gw di jakarta. Gw tau kalau lu ini bukan anak yang bener-bener carefree, lu ini juga pastinya pernah berpikir masa depan lu itu mau gimana dan ke mana.

Masa depan....

Jika gw berpikir tentang masa depan, aneh ya, yang kepikiran malah gw sama lu. Haha... Gw pengen gw bisa menemani lu, melihat tawa lu, melihat senyum lu, bisa masak bareng lu, melewati hari libur atau hari apapun berdua, setiap pagi jika bangun tidur, lu ada di samping gw, setiap malam sebelum tidur, bisa meluk dan cium sekali bilang “good night, sweet dream”. Haha, kedengaran agak lebay ini ya? but, i honestly feel that way...Am i selfish?

I still love you, and i want to be with you
With you, I don’t have to be anyone else other than me
Don’t you feel the same?
Don’t blame me for still hoping....
And please, open up your heart to me once again....

If One Day

If one day you feel like crying, call me...
I don't promise that i will make you laugh
But i can cry with you...

If one day you want to run away
Don't be afraid to call me...
I don't promise to ask you to stop
But i can run with you...

If one day you don't want to listen to everyone
Call me...
I promise to be there for you
And I promise to be very quiet

Enough is enough

Hari ini gw merasa gw uda gak sanggup lagi

gw cm berandai-andai, seandainya tadi gw jadi nunggu lu di CL, apakah lu akan tetap ikut karaoke? jika lu tau gw di CL, akankah kau tetap ke sana? Saat kutanya, apakah kau sayang banget sama dia? kaw jawab "iya", tak bisa kupungkiri, hatiku sakit, tapi tak ada air mata yang keluar saat di depanmu...

tahukah kau, kalau gw menangis lagi saat kau tidur?
Gw tau gw uda gk ada artinya lagi buat lu, kalau lu memang cinta dia, lanjutkan saja
gw uda rela, gw gk akan mengganggu kehidupan lu lagi..

Haruskah kukatakan "selamat tinggal?"
Inikah akhir kita? Inikah hal yang engkau inginkan?
Yang jelas, ini bukan akhir yang kuinginkan
Tapi apa dayaku? Jika gw selalu berusaha membuka hatimu, tapi kau tetap tak mau membukanya?

You know, I will never ask you to do the things that you don't want to
Maybe someday, you will understand how i feel right now,
I have to admit, right now, i am so heartbroken, and i want to give up
I really can't keep on living like this...

Meeting part 1 - birthday cake

Hmm, kmrn tiba2 pgn ke rumah lu. Trus ke empo. Tiba2 pgn aja rayain ultah lu berdua.

Naik busway sampai ke empo, mau beliin makan buat lu, cm nyokap u da beli, gk jd beli. Akhirnya beli kue aja.

Pas ke carefor cari lilin, tak ada. Tny mbak nya, minta mbak nya cari ke gudang, gk dicari dia jg blg gk ada. Akhirnya beli lilin yg aromaterapy. Ya, at least masi kepake lah. Untung ada..

Uda selesai semuanya, pas mau ke tempat u, pgn minta jemput, tp segan dan gk mau lu anggap beban, y akhirnya naik taxi lagi.

Pas naik taxi dr pluit junction, gw lsg main naik aja. Si taxi malah gk tau jalan. Dibawa sama si taxi puter2 sampe ke arah tol pluit, puter balik, sampai ke senayan city, baru ke hum lu.

Sampai sana, bohongin oma blg butuh korek buat bakar brand baju. Minta lu keluar ambil piring ama pisau bntr. Bakar lilin. Pgn nutup mata lu sampai sana lu gk mau. Haha..

Dan akhirnya, happy birthday!! Sori telat kuenya, tp ucapinnya yg pertama lho. Pas jam 12 tgl 15 itu :d.

Anyway, kalaupun semua pengorbanan dan tindakan gw ke lu uda gk ada artinya dan tidak mampu berkata apa2, gak apa2. Setidaknya lu jujur ke gw. Walau lu uda gk pernah mikirin gw, tp gw selalu mikirin lu. Walau kau sakit atau sedih gw ikut sedih, tapi tak sebaliknya. Walau gw kawatir kalau lu keujanan tp lu enggak. Semuanya, gw rela..bukan salahmu,
Tak ada org yg meminta gw lakuin itu semua, semua atas keinginan gw sendiri..

Ud, mgkn sudah ampir dekat saatnya gw ucapin selamat tinggal ke lu...

Mgkn minggu dpn adalah hari terakhir gw ketemu lu lg. Makanya gw minta lu kosongin 3 hari dan 1 hari ke ancol. Mudah2an cuaca cerah...

Selama masalah lu dan dia blm selesai, gw sadar tak akan ada tempat bagi gw di hati lu, dan sejujurnya gw gk kuat lagi bertahan.

Waktu gw bertanya ”
Lu sayang dia gk? Lu lbh sayang dia kan y? Apakah kau merasa gini2 ke dia?” Tahukah kau? Betapa sakitnya hati gw harus mendengar itu semua dr org yg gw cintai sepenuh hati?

Gw sudah sakit hati dan berharap selama 6 bln. Gw harus mencintai diriku sendiri ud. Dan memang jika engkau lebih memilih dirinya, gw akan merelakan.

Satu pesan dr gw ke lu "cari tahu apa yg bener2 lu inginkan, gw atau dia, dan jika lu sudah memilih salah satu dan dia jg memiliki komitmen yg sama untuk lu, jgn kau biarkan lagi hatimu bermain fantasi cinta atau apa, hal2 seperti itu yg merusak hubungan kita"

From me, the one who is still loving you