This was the month i start anew in the term of career path.
I left my old company and join a new company in a hope of getting a better financial state and of course the experience of multinational exposure in consulting (which are fulfilled a few months later, thank God for that).
I moved back to Jakarta.
Well, the first week is orientation, but i use the next few weeks waiting for assignment, learning new stuffs and of course (as usual) working and providing support for my last project as well.
It is not a must, but it is more of a moral and "kind" responsibility you have towards your client as a consultant. You kinda feel responsible for the system you built and I don't know any consultants out there, but i am happy and satisfied if the clients said that the system helped them in their reporting.
Let's see how long and how far i can go with my current company.
Okay, this month is a Valentine day. Ah well, i didn't celebrate valentine day this time. Well, not very celebrative-ly, but yea, i have someone to celebrate it with this year. Had a dinner at Plaza Senayan, walked around a bit and then went home. So, i am grateful for it.
Tampilkan postingan dengan label my life. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label my life. Tampilkan semua postingan
Rabu, 24 April 2013
January oh January
Whoa.. my blog has been left unattended for a few months..
Okay, the recap of the January, Feb and March of 2013.
January - continuation -
This January was as usual, after the project "Go Live", everything is just okay for a few two weeks.
I even got a chance to go home for a vacation for one week. Well, one week is eventually not enough, but better than nothing, right? So, my home is as usual, I love the smell of the rain there, I also love to see the street crowded with cars and bikes and people walking by. I just love it.
Me and a few of my high school friends met and went out for a late supper. Well, no supper for me, watching out for my waist-line. We went to Kok Tong kopitiam at Megaland shops cluster i believe.
Oh, i met my nephews for a few days, they are as cute as usual, if not cuter!!
The little one is soooo "gemesin", ah, his smile is just soooo cute.
Can't wait to get back and just hold em again...
Hope that both of them can grow to be a good man and love their parents, especially their mother.
Okay, so i got back to Surabaya eventually and start the last-week-before-closing week at my clients. Everything just went by so fast. I even have to work at Saturday and Sunday just to be able to "close" in time. Well, long story short, everything went by okay, and thus that mark my last week with my company.
Okay, the recap of the January, Feb and March of 2013.
January - continuation -
This January was as usual, after the project "Go Live", everything is just okay for a few two weeks.
I even got a chance to go home for a vacation for one week. Well, one week is eventually not enough, but better than nothing, right? So, my home is as usual, I love the smell of the rain there, I also love to see the street crowded with cars and bikes and people walking by. I just love it.
Me and a few of my high school friends met and went out for a late supper. Well, no supper for me, watching out for my waist-line. We went to Kok Tong kopitiam at Megaland shops cluster i believe.
Oh, i met my nephews for a few days, they are as cute as usual, if not cuter!!
The little one is soooo "gemesin", ah, his smile is just soooo cute.
Can't wait to get back and just hold em again...
Hope that both of them can grow to be a good man and love their parents, especially their mother.
Okay, so i got back to Surabaya eventually and start the last-week-before-closing week at my clients. Everything just went by so fast. I even have to work at Saturday and Sunday just to be able to "close" in time. Well, long story short, everything went by okay, and thus that mark my last week with my company.
PS: okay, it doesn't snow in January in my place, just like the pic :)
Minggu, 20 Januari 2013
Year 2013 Resolutions
My Year 2013 Resolutions:
- Have my own car and drive it
- Have my own place
- Learn a new SAP module at least (FI or PS will do)
- Join a gym and be more sexy ;)
- Find a good dermatologist (mine right now is okay, but too far away)
- Have a vacation abroad with my family)
- Taking care of my wardrobe. ew...well, refer to resolutions no 4
- Save up to 100 million IDR at least.
- Get ready for a new job next year (preferably abroad)
- Enjoy life with my love :)
Let's see which one are fulfilled.
Preferably will be able to update this blog of mine regularly and more with photos.
2013, please be good :)
Sincerely,
Me
Sabtu, 19 Januari 2013
Recap of 2012
Another year has passed and well, as usual, it passed really quickly.
Since, i have been neglecting this blog for a few while, i am thinking of highlighting the 2012 events:
- Jan
My project at Cikarang went live. Doing support for 2 months until the Feb.
- Feb
Got relocated to Surabaya for another project starting the 13th of February. Yea, got only 1 day of free from work day, which is the Sunday to prepare for the move.
Got the project number 9 (will upload this when i remember and have time, just for the sake of memory treasuring). Many thought that this project will be a very stressful and difficult one. Well, as it turns out, it is by far, correct.
- March -April
Got nothing much to report, just as usual, project and exploring Surabaya.
Will see if i have any good photos to upload to Facebook
- May
Met someone at Santika hotel Jakarta, who turns out just "disappearing" 2 weeks after.
Someone i should have forgotten, but it turns out i still remember.
Even though nothing happens, but still, it has been a part of my life journey and my memory.
- June - July
Nothing much to report, just as usual, project :)
Oh, i remembered, i bought a voucher at a website to take care of my skin.
Let's hope that it will be better
- August
Went back to home at Siantar for holiday for about 2 weeks.
- September - October
Seeing that my contract is about to end, been trying to find a job
Emailed my boss to ask about my employment.
- November
Got the new job at Deloitte office after about 3 weeks of interviewing process.
Doubting whether to go for freelancing or permanent.
Chose the permanent one after thinking about it for 2 weeks.
Right now hoping that i made the correct choice
- December
It is the month of love for me.
Met another one, and have been in a relationship with that one until today (this post is written)
2012 is ending, well, some people in this world are afraid that it will be the end of the world at 20.12.2012.
I however, don't believe that, because i still hold firm my belief that only God knows when that will happen, not humans.
Kind of excited about new year, with the new job, new relationship, new opportunities will arise.
Goodbye 2012, and welcome 2013 :)
Hopefully it will be a year of good fortune, health and love for me and everyone i know :)
Since, i have been neglecting this blog for a few while, i am thinking of highlighting the 2012 events:
- Jan
My project at Cikarang went live. Doing support for 2 months until the Feb.
- Feb
Got relocated to Surabaya for another project starting the 13th of February. Yea, got only 1 day of free from work day, which is the Sunday to prepare for the move.
Got the project number 9 (will upload this when i remember and have time, just for the sake of memory treasuring). Many thought that this project will be a very stressful and difficult one. Well, as it turns out, it is by far, correct.
- March -April
Got nothing much to report, just as usual, project and exploring Surabaya.
Will see if i have any good photos to upload to Facebook
- May
Met someone at Santika hotel Jakarta, who turns out just "disappearing" 2 weeks after.
Someone i should have forgotten, but it turns out i still remember.
Even though nothing happens, but still, it has been a part of my life journey and my memory.
- June - July
Nothing much to report, just as usual, project :)
Oh, i remembered, i bought a voucher at a website to take care of my skin.
Let's hope that it will be better
- August
Went back to home at Siantar for holiday for about 2 weeks.
- September - October
Seeing that my contract is about to end, been trying to find a job
Emailed my boss to ask about my employment.
- November
Got the new job at Deloitte office after about 3 weeks of interviewing process.
Doubting whether to go for freelancing or permanent.
Chose the permanent one after thinking about it for 2 weeks.
Right now hoping that i made the correct choice
- December
It is the month of love for me.
Met another one, and have been in a relationship with that one until today (this post is written)
2012 is ending, well, some people in this world are afraid that it will be the end of the world at 20.12.2012.
I however, don't believe that, because i still hold firm my belief that only God knows when that will happen, not humans.
Kind of excited about new year, with the new job, new relationship, new opportunities will arise.
Goodbye 2012, and welcome 2013 :)
Hopefully it will be a year of good fortune, health and love for me and everyone i know :)
Senin, 09 Juli 2012
Hair Cut Compliments
09 July 2012,
Went to have a hair cut, got a nice compliment from the lady hairdresser.
She is probably someone in her fifties.
So, here goes the conversation:

Lady: "Mau gunting gimana?"
Me: "Err, model yang gimana yang cocok ya?"
Lady: "Yang kek gitu aja?" (while referring to two guys who have just got their hair cut)
Me: "Err, okay"
Lady: "Mau ospek ya?"
Me: "Err, bukan. Saya sudah 25 tahun"
Lady: "Wah, masih imut kamu ya, tak kira baru mau masuk kuliah"
Lol.
Thanks for the compliments
Well, it really made my night :)
Went to have a hair cut, got a nice compliment from the lady hairdresser.
She is probably someone in her fifties.
So, here goes the conversation:

Lady: "Mau gunting gimana?"
Me: "Err, model yang gimana yang cocok ya?"
Lady: "Yang kek gitu aja?" (while referring to two guys who have just got their hair cut)
Me: "Err, okay"
Lady: "Mau ospek ya?"
Me: "Err, bukan. Saya sudah 25 tahun"
Lady: "Wah, masih imut kamu ya, tak kira baru mau masuk kuliah"
Lol.
Thanks for the compliments
Well, it really made my night :)
To Someone with Initial A

To the one with initial A,
I wonder how you are doing at the moment..
I wonder if you will ever know this..
But when i say this, believe that it is true
There is never a day that goes by without me thinking of you..
I can only hope that you are fine wherever and whenever you are
I really really like you, and that's all i really know...
And for that reason only...
I am still right here waiting for you...
Minggu, 19 Desember 2010
Samarinda and Sampit
20 December 2010
Yesterday was the last day i conducted the EUT for Samarinda branch. Well, there was a funny story about the laundry bag. My humble mistake, really. I put the dirty clothes inside the laundry bag and leave it outside on the table.
And when i got bag, there were clean clothes hanging and neatly folded, and of course, a price tag. Haha, a friend come in and we have a short chat regarding this. The conclusion is to pay for it. While i was calling the laundry division, i thought he overheard me on the phone saying that "i'd rather buy a new one than laundry it" (because obviously the price of the clothes washed are about the same as the laundry tag, except for the batik)
25 December 2010
Yesterday, the training was done. The last session was held in the Idola hotel's lobby. Both of the people from these two branches were very welcoming. Another funny story while in Idola Hotel.
I walked into the room, and then i took the card they usually use for electricity and i thought it was the key. So i keep on trying to put the key into the room. I forgot my room number. I saw the sign "Privacy Please" hanging on the door, i thought it was my friend's doing, that is why i tried the key on that door too, luckily, no one was mad.
I got down to the receptionist,and i ask him to change the 'key', he said it was not the key =.=. So i laugh and ask for the new key, and get into the room.
Still clumsy as ever, eh? haha
Yesterday was the last day i conducted the EUT for Samarinda branch. Well, there was a funny story about the laundry bag. My humble mistake, really. I put the dirty clothes inside the laundry bag and leave it outside on the table.
And when i got bag, there were clean clothes hanging and neatly folded, and of course, a price tag. Haha, a friend come in and we have a short chat regarding this. The conclusion is to pay for it. While i was calling the laundry division, i thought he overheard me on the phone saying that "i'd rather buy a new one than laundry it" (because obviously the price of the clothes washed are about the same as the laundry tag, except for the batik)
25 December 2010
Yesterday, the training was done. The last session was held in the Idola hotel's lobby. Both of the people from these two branches were very welcoming. Another funny story while in Idola Hotel.
I walked into the room, and then i took the card they usually use for electricity and i thought it was the key. So i keep on trying to put the key into the room. I forgot my room number. I saw the sign "Privacy Please" hanging on the door, i thought it was my friend's doing, that is why i tried the key on that door too, luckily, no one was mad.
I got down to the receptionist,and i ask him to change the 'key', he said it was not the key =.=. So i laugh and ask for the new key, and get into the room.
Still clumsy as ever, eh? haha
Jumat, 10 Desember 2010
Disoriented
10 December 2010
I have promised myself not to let myself be distracted and not to let myself hurt anymore, but why is that feeling keeps on coming back?
Trust me, i ALWAYS tell myself not to let myself be the victim, to tell myself that i can live without you, that i have lived my 23 years of my life without you, and of course now i can live by myself, too
But, why? why do i keep on thinking about you? Why is it only you are the one in my heart? No, i don't blame you, if there is anyone to blame, it is me. I am the one who let myself to fall for you...
I really need to stop loving you, i always tell myself that...
I can't live like this forever, i know i have to change, but now,i still can't
I have promised myself not to let myself be distracted and not to let myself hurt anymore, but why is that feeling keeps on coming back?
Trust me, i ALWAYS tell myself not to let myself be the victim, to tell myself that i can live without you, that i have lived my 23 years of my life without you, and of course now i can live by myself, too
But, why? why do i keep on thinking about you? Why is it only you are the one in my heart? No, i don't blame you, if there is anyone to blame, it is me. I am the one who let myself to fall for you...
I really need to stop loving you, i always tell myself that...
I can't live like this forever, i know i have to change, but now,i still can't
Daily entry (09-12-10)
09 Desember 2010
It has been such a long time since i last updated my blog..
Well, things have quit down lately. My heart is not hurt anymore. Hope is always there, but i know that i should not put my hope that high anymore. The last time we met, you still give me hugs and kisses, which makes me wonder if you still have feelings for me or not..
Hm, ud...i don’t want to think that much, just let it be. Let if flow, if we are to be together again, then i think we will...
It has been such a long time since i last updated my blog..
Well, things have quit down lately. My heart is not hurt anymore. Hope is always there, but i know that i should not put my hope that high anymore. The last time we met, you still give me hugs and kisses, which makes me wonder if you still have feelings for me or not..
Hm, ud...i don’t want to think that much, just let it be. Let if flow, if we are to be together again, then i think we will...
Minggu, 28 November 2010
S.H.M.I.L.Y (2)
Masih ingat percakapan kita yang ini?
G: “Lu tau kan gw masih sayang sama lu?”
U: “iya”
G: “Tau dari mana?”
U: “Lu yang bilang”
G: “tau gak sedalam apa?”
U: “enggak, emank bisa diukur?”
Gw terdiam, memikirkan jawaban yang tak bisa kudapatkan.
G: “iya juga sih, hehe”
Sekarang ku tahu jawabnya.
I will tell you now.
Gw sayang sama lu, ud.. saking sayangnya, tak bisa ku melalui setiap hari tanpa berpikir tentang dirimu, apakah dirimu sudah makan / di luar / sudah pulang / kedinginan / sudah sembuh blm?
Begitu sayangnya diri gw padamu, sampai ku rela menjadi tempat lu mengadu, ku rela menjagamu seumur hidup gw, ku rela menemani mu di saat suka dan duka, tak akan pernah ku meninggalkanmu
Sedalam itulah cintaku padamu...
G: “Lu tau kan gw masih sayang sama lu?”
U: “iya”
G: “Tau dari mana?”
U: “Lu yang bilang”
G: “tau gak sedalam apa?”
U: “enggak, emank bisa diukur?”
Gw terdiam, memikirkan jawaban yang tak bisa kudapatkan.
G: “iya juga sih, hehe”
Sekarang ku tahu jawabnya.
I will tell you now.
Gw sayang sama lu, ud.. saking sayangnya, tak bisa ku melalui setiap hari tanpa berpikir tentang dirimu, apakah dirimu sudah makan / di luar / sudah pulang / kedinginan / sudah sembuh blm?
Begitu sayangnya diri gw padamu, sampai ku rela menjadi tempat lu mengadu, ku rela menjagamu seumur hidup gw, ku rela menemani mu di saat suka dan duka, tak akan pernah ku meninggalkanmu
Sedalam itulah cintaku padamu...
Our Story - Part IV - The Dating
The Dating
Minggu setelahnya, kita berjanji untuk bertemu di CL, tapi karena buswaynya bermasalah, kita mengganti tempat bertemu di TA. Hari itu, kau memakai baju “baby milo yang coklat tua itu, dengan jaket bergaris2 coklat putih”. Ya, image dirimu selalu gw simpan, tak peduli apapun yang kau pakai.
Itulah malam pertama kita makan bersama. Sushi Groove, semeja berdua. Gw yang selama ini tak suka wasabi, kau tunjukkan cara makan yang benar, dan sejak saat itu, ku jadi menyukai wasabi. Saat itu, kubertanya, gimana caranya biar gw bisa memeluk dan mencium mu lagi, dan kau menyarankan untuk ke tempat mu saja.
Hari pertama gw ke tempat mu, sangat canggung sekali, untuk bertemu dengan bokap dan nyokap lu, rasanya gw canggung sekali, tapi dirimu selalu ada untuk ku.. Dan sejak saat itu, kita selalu menghabiskan weekend berdua, selama 2 hari 2 malam. Jumat malam, Sabtu pagi dan malam, dan minggu pagi.
Tahukah dirimu, setiap kali akan berpisah dengan dirimu, pelukan dan ciuman darimu tak pernah cukup kurasa? Begitu tak ingin ku meninggalkanmu, makanya gw bersikeras untuk bertahan sampai malam. Tak tega ku memintamu untuk mengantar gw pulang, karena tempat tinggal kita yang berjauhan. I love you too much to see you get hurt.
(lagi2, air mataku harus menetes ketika menuliskan bagian ini)
You know me, right? Gw sangat sayang dan protektif *tapi bukan posesif* ke orang yang gw sayang. Mana mungkin gw tega memintamu mengantar kan dirimu, setelah itu pulang sendiri lagi di malam hari? Mana mungkin ku tega kau kedinginan oleh karena angin malam >.<
Ku terlalu mencintaimu untuk memintamu melakukan hal itu...
Itulah alasannya kenapa gw kadang suka marah dan kesel sendiri kalau lu lagi keluar, setelah itu kau tetap mengantar kan teman mu pulang dulu, baru lah kau sendiri pulang. Tak tega ku melihatmu jika kau sakit, tapi tak pernah kukatakan padamu, karena, kutau, tak mungkin lah aku ada di tengah antara kau dan temanmu.
Hari - hari kita, kita lalui dengan manis dan indah. Kadang di dapur, ketika kau mengambilkan nasi, kupeluk dirimu dari belakang. Pada saat ku mencuci piring, kau membalas memeluk ku dari belakang...
Masih ingatkah dirimu bagaimana kita makan takoyaki? Kerupuk atau bahkan 1 oreo dimakan berdua?
Haha, iya, saling nyuapin :)Kenangan-kenangan itu akan selalu kusimpan di dalam hatiku
Maafkan diriku ketika sedang bersamamu di luar, maafkan diriku yang tak mungkin bisa mempertontonkan rasa sayangku padamu di depan umum. Maafkan diriku yang tak pernah punya keberanian itu. Kini, kusadar begitu banyak kesalahan yang kulakukan...
Ku masih ingat, saat kutanya dirimu..
G: “Sayang gw gak?”
U: “Ya iyalah, dodol ah”
Di kesempatan lain
G: “lu sayang gw gak?”
U: “banget”
Di kesempatan lain lagi
G: “ i love you, honey”
U: “i love you, too”
Di kesempatan yang lain lagi
G: “Lu cinta sama gw gak?”
U: “Enggak”
G: “Lho? Jadi gitu? Selingkuh neh?”
U: “ Tega? Oh mau? Ya uda, sana sanaa”
G: “Gw gak bilang gw mau”
U: “Terus ngapain nanya?”
G: “jadi cinta gak?”
U: “iya, sayang”
G: “emank bedanya cinta sama sayang itu apa?
U: “ Cinta itu gampang dilupakan, sayang itu susah”
Tahukah dirimu, betapa kau membuatku menjadi pria yang paling bahagia di saat itu, bisa mendengarkan kalimat seperti itu dari dirimu, yang sifat dasarnya adalah cuek. Saat itu, ku tahu bahwa kau benar-benar sayang padaku, dan saat itu juga, sudah kuputuskan, ku akan mencintaimu selamanya...
Tahukah dirimu, ketika dirimu batuk selama beberapa bulan, mendengar dirimu dikerok, betapa sakit nya hatiku, ku menangis di hati (kubayangkan betapa sakitnya itu), tahukah dirimu ketika kau mengatakan bahwa semua sendi-sendimu itu sakit, ku menelepon nyokap gw untuk tau obatnya?
Tahukah dirimu, ku sangat mencintaimu...mungkin lebih dari apapun di dunia ini...
Hon, let’s try again, give us another chance, take my hand, fall in love with me again...
Izinkahlah diriku memeluk mesra dirimu setiap malam kita bersama, izinkanlah diriku memperhatikan dirimu saat kau tidur, dan izinkanlah diriku membisikkan “I love you, dan selamat pagi” padamu setiap kali kau bangun tidur..
Ku tak bisa menjanjikan apa-apa, ku hanya bisa berjanji kalau gw akan mencintaimu selamanya, ku akan selalu setia padamu, tak akan pernah gw meninggalkanmu, di manapun ku berada, ketahuilah, hati dan pikiranku selalu ada padamu.
Don't let me wait too long again, let us be happy together, let me take care of you, all my life, i mean it...
Don't care about what people say, let them have their opinion, but we alone live our lives.
You know, bahwa cinta kita itu tulus, jangan hanya karena 1 kata bosen menghancurkan semuanya....
Kata orang, cinta sejati tak akan lekang oleh waktu, hanya waktulah yang dapat menjawab. Jangan takut, ada gw di samping lu, kalau nantinya ada masalah di hubungan kita, gw yakin kita akan bisa menjalaninya dengan baik.
Jika kau berpikir mau dibawa ke mana hubungan ini lagi nantinya, jangan dipikirkan, biarlah waktu yang menjawab, kita baru bersama selama 7 bulan, dan selama ini bukankah kita bahagia? Jangan membiarkan masalah-masalah kecil menghancurkannya. Biarlah ku menjadi pria yang membuatmu tertawa dan tersenyum setiap hari.
Mengenai kekhawatiran akan masa depan, semua orang punya kekhawatirannya sendiri, tapi gw berjanji, apapun masalahnya, gw akan selalu ada untukmu, kita berdua akan mencari solusinya bersama-sama.
So, what do you say? take your time to decide, but please, baby, don’t let me wait too long, because i miss you already.
There is never a day that passes by without me thinking of you.
I am, still, waiting for you...
From the one who still love you
Minggu setelahnya, kita berjanji untuk bertemu di CL, tapi karena buswaynya bermasalah, kita mengganti tempat bertemu di TA. Hari itu, kau memakai baju “baby milo yang coklat tua itu, dengan jaket bergaris2 coklat putih”. Ya, image dirimu selalu gw simpan, tak peduli apapun yang kau pakai.
Itulah malam pertama kita makan bersama. Sushi Groove, semeja berdua. Gw yang selama ini tak suka wasabi, kau tunjukkan cara makan yang benar, dan sejak saat itu, ku jadi menyukai wasabi. Saat itu, kubertanya, gimana caranya biar gw bisa memeluk dan mencium mu lagi, dan kau menyarankan untuk ke tempat mu saja.
Hari pertama gw ke tempat mu, sangat canggung sekali, untuk bertemu dengan bokap dan nyokap lu, rasanya gw canggung sekali, tapi dirimu selalu ada untuk ku.. Dan sejak saat itu, kita selalu menghabiskan weekend berdua, selama 2 hari 2 malam. Jumat malam, Sabtu pagi dan malam, dan minggu pagi.
Tahukah dirimu, setiap kali akan berpisah dengan dirimu, pelukan dan ciuman darimu tak pernah cukup kurasa? Begitu tak ingin ku meninggalkanmu, makanya gw bersikeras untuk bertahan sampai malam. Tak tega ku memintamu untuk mengantar gw pulang, karena tempat tinggal kita yang berjauhan. I love you too much to see you get hurt.
(lagi2, air mataku harus menetes ketika menuliskan bagian ini)
You know me, right? Gw sangat sayang dan protektif *tapi bukan posesif* ke orang yang gw sayang. Mana mungkin gw tega memintamu mengantar kan dirimu, setelah itu pulang sendiri lagi di malam hari? Mana mungkin ku tega kau kedinginan oleh karena angin malam >.<
Ku terlalu mencintaimu untuk memintamu melakukan hal itu...
Itulah alasannya kenapa gw kadang suka marah dan kesel sendiri kalau lu lagi keluar, setelah itu kau tetap mengantar kan teman mu pulang dulu, baru lah kau sendiri pulang. Tak tega ku melihatmu jika kau sakit, tapi tak pernah kukatakan padamu, karena, kutau, tak mungkin lah aku ada di tengah antara kau dan temanmu.
Hari - hari kita, kita lalui dengan manis dan indah. Kadang di dapur, ketika kau mengambilkan nasi, kupeluk dirimu dari belakang. Pada saat ku mencuci piring, kau membalas memeluk ku dari belakang...
Masih ingatkah dirimu bagaimana kita makan takoyaki? Kerupuk atau bahkan 1 oreo dimakan berdua?
Haha, iya, saling nyuapin :)Kenangan-kenangan itu akan selalu kusimpan di dalam hatiku
Maafkan diriku ketika sedang bersamamu di luar, maafkan diriku yang tak mungkin bisa mempertontonkan rasa sayangku padamu di depan umum. Maafkan diriku yang tak pernah punya keberanian itu. Kini, kusadar begitu banyak kesalahan yang kulakukan...
Ku masih ingat, saat kutanya dirimu..
G: “Sayang gw gak?”
U: “Ya iyalah, dodol ah”
Di kesempatan lain
G: “lu sayang gw gak?”
U: “banget”
Di kesempatan lain lagi
G: “ i love you, honey”
U: “i love you, too”
Di kesempatan yang lain lagi
G: “Lu cinta sama gw gak?”
U: “Enggak”
G: “Lho? Jadi gitu? Selingkuh neh?”
U: “ Tega? Oh mau? Ya uda, sana sanaa”
G: “Gw gak bilang gw mau”
U: “Terus ngapain nanya?”
G: “jadi cinta gak?”
U: “iya, sayang”
G: “emank bedanya cinta sama sayang itu apa?
U: “ Cinta itu gampang dilupakan, sayang itu susah”
Tahukah dirimu, betapa kau membuatku menjadi pria yang paling bahagia di saat itu, bisa mendengarkan kalimat seperti itu dari dirimu, yang sifat dasarnya adalah cuek. Saat itu, ku tahu bahwa kau benar-benar sayang padaku, dan saat itu juga, sudah kuputuskan, ku akan mencintaimu selamanya...
Tahukah dirimu, ketika dirimu batuk selama beberapa bulan, mendengar dirimu dikerok, betapa sakit nya hatiku, ku menangis di hati (kubayangkan betapa sakitnya itu), tahukah dirimu ketika kau mengatakan bahwa semua sendi-sendimu itu sakit, ku menelepon nyokap gw untuk tau obatnya?
Tahukah dirimu, ku sangat mencintaimu...mungkin lebih dari apapun di dunia ini...
Hon, let’s try again, give us another chance, take my hand, fall in love with me again...
Izinkahlah diriku memeluk mesra dirimu setiap malam kita bersama, izinkanlah diriku memperhatikan dirimu saat kau tidur, dan izinkanlah diriku membisikkan “I love you, dan selamat pagi” padamu setiap kali kau bangun tidur..
Ku tak bisa menjanjikan apa-apa, ku hanya bisa berjanji kalau gw akan mencintaimu selamanya, ku akan selalu setia padamu, tak akan pernah gw meninggalkanmu, di manapun ku berada, ketahuilah, hati dan pikiranku selalu ada padamu.
Don't let me wait too long again, let us be happy together, let me take care of you, all my life, i mean it...
Don't care about what people say, let them have their opinion, but we alone live our lives.
You know, bahwa cinta kita itu tulus, jangan hanya karena 1 kata bosen menghancurkan semuanya....
Kata orang, cinta sejati tak akan lekang oleh waktu, hanya waktulah yang dapat menjawab. Jangan takut, ada gw di samping lu, kalau nantinya ada masalah di hubungan kita, gw yakin kita akan bisa menjalaninya dengan baik.
Jika kau berpikir mau dibawa ke mana hubungan ini lagi nantinya, jangan dipikirkan, biarlah waktu yang menjawab, kita baru bersama selama 7 bulan, dan selama ini bukankah kita bahagia? Jangan membiarkan masalah-masalah kecil menghancurkannya. Biarlah ku menjadi pria yang membuatmu tertawa dan tersenyum setiap hari.
Mengenai kekhawatiran akan masa depan, semua orang punya kekhawatirannya sendiri, tapi gw berjanji, apapun masalahnya, gw akan selalu ada untukmu, kita berdua akan mencari solusinya bersama-sama.
So, what do you say? take your time to decide, but please, baby, don’t let me wait too long, because i miss you already.
There is never a day that passes by without me thinking of you.
I am, still, waiting for you...
From the one who still love you
Our Story - Part III - The Next Days
Part 3 - The next days
28 Maret 2010
Sabtu pagi, kau pulang, ku lihat, baju mu begitu keringatan, maaf, membuat dirimu kepanasan...
Malamnya kau ingin datang, tapi karena hujan, kau tak jadi datang. Tapi akhirnya datang juga di jam 11 malam. Kau datang lagi, hanya untuk melihatku, masih dengan baju putih dan topi putihmu. Tahukan dirimu, betapa sempurnanya kau di mataku?
Ya, saat itu, ku sudah harus pindah, karena harus pindah ke dekat tempat kerja, yang menjadi dilema bagi diriku. Di satu sisi, ku takut kita tak bisa bertemu seperti biasa lagi, tapi kutak mungkin menghabiskan waktu 4 jam di jalan hanya untuk pergi dan pulang dari kantor.
(Sayangku, air mataku menetes lagi saat kutulis kisah ini, ku benar-benar merindumu, tapi apa yang bisa kulakukan, tak mungkin kukatakan padamu, kalau ku rindu padamu, tapi dirimu hanya diam tak bergeming, tak mungkin sanggup kukatakan itu dan menerima kenyataan pahit ini. Maka kuputuskan untuk menuliskan semua perasaan ku di sini, dan berharap, dan kutau, suatu hari nanti, ketika kau memutuskan untuk melihat apa yang kutulis di belakang tiket Hachiko itu, kau akan tahu semua perasaan gw yang gw pendam, semua rasa cinta dan kekecewaan yang pernah kurasakan...)
29 Maret 2010
Minggu. Hari ini, hari gw memindahkan semua barang gw ke tempat tinggal yang baru. Gw masih ingat, saat itu katanya di tempat lu hujan deras. Saat itu, gw blm tau lu tinggal di mana. Gw lagi makan sama paman gw di pluit sakti, yang ternyata sangat dekat dengan tempat lu tinggal. Wajar saja , di tempat mu juga hujan sangat deras.
Do you know? gw segitu cengengnya, sampai gw ada telp ke nyokap gw, gw blg :"kerjaan ini uda mengambil banyak hal dari gw, kebebasan, sekarang bahkan teman2 gw yang di binus mesti gw tinggalkan"
ya, itu memang benar, tapi alasan sebenarnya adalah, ku takut kalau tak bisa bertemu denganmu lagi, tapi kurasa dia tak perlu tahu itu
30 Maret 2010
Senin. Hari ini, tempat ku sudah kosong semuanya, harusnya gw uda pindah ke tempat baru, tapi karena ku masih ingin bertemu denganmu, ku bersikeras untuk tinggal sehari lagi di tempatku yang lama. Ku ingin melihatmu sekali lagi sebelum 1 minggu kita akan berpisah. Karena sejujurnya, pada saat itu, ku tak tahu bagaimana lagi akan bisa bertemu dengan mu, dan menjalani malam yang normal sebagaimana seorang pacar dengan mu. Karena ku tahu, kita tak mungkin bisa melakukan hal -hal tertentu di umum...
Malamnya, kau datang lagi, masih dengan baju putih dan topi putih. Yang ada di pikiranku saat itu hanyalah, betapa ku beruntung bisa mendapatkan cintamu.
Thank you for coming, hon....
28 Maret 2010
Sabtu pagi, kau pulang, ku lihat, baju mu begitu keringatan, maaf, membuat dirimu kepanasan...
Malamnya kau ingin datang, tapi karena hujan, kau tak jadi datang. Tapi akhirnya datang juga di jam 11 malam. Kau datang lagi, hanya untuk melihatku, masih dengan baju putih dan topi putihmu. Tahukan dirimu, betapa sempurnanya kau di mataku?
Ya, saat itu, ku sudah harus pindah, karena harus pindah ke dekat tempat kerja, yang menjadi dilema bagi diriku. Di satu sisi, ku takut kita tak bisa bertemu seperti biasa lagi, tapi kutak mungkin menghabiskan waktu 4 jam di jalan hanya untuk pergi dan pulang dari kantor.
(Sayangku, air mataku menetes lagi saat kutulis kisah ini, ku benar-benar merindumu, tapi apa yang bisa kulakukan, tak mungkin kukatakan padamu, kalau ku rindu padamu, tapi dirimu hanya diam tak bergeming, tak mungkin sanggup kukatakan itu dan menerima kenyataan pahit ini. Maka kuputuskan untuk menuliskan semua perasaan ku di sini, dan berharap, dan kutau, suatu hari nanti, ketika kau memutuskan untuk melihat apa yang kutulis di belakang tiket Hachiko itu, kau akan tahu semua perasaan gw yang gw pendam, semua rasa cinta dan kekecewaan yang pernah kurasakan...)
29 Maret 2010
Minggu. Hari ini, hari gw memindahkan semua barang gw ke tempat tinggal yang baru. Gw masih ingat, saat itu katanya di tempat lu hujan deras. Saat itu, gw blm tau lu tinggal di mana. Gw lagi makan sama paman gw di pluit sakti, yang ternyata sangat dekat dengan tempat lu tinggal. Wajar saja , di tempat mu juga hujan sangat deras.
Do you know? gw segitu cengengnya, sampai gw ada telp ke nyokap gw, gw blg :"kerjaan ini uda mengambil banyak hal dari gw, kebebasan, sekarang bahkan teman2 gw yang di binus mesti gw tinggalkan"
ya, itu memang benar, tapi alasan sebenarnya adalah, ku takut kalau tak bisa bertemu denganmu lagi, tapi kurasa dia tak perlu tahu itu
30 Maret 2010
Senin. Hari ini, tempat ku sudah kosong semuanya, harusnya gw uda pindah ke tempat baru, tapi karena ku masih ingin bertemu denganmu, ku bersikeras untuk tinggal sehari lagi di tempatku yang lama. Ku ingin melihatmu sekali lagi sebelum 1 minggu kita akan berpisah. Karena sejujurnya, pada saat itu, ku tak tahu bagaimana lagi akan bisa bertemu dengan mu, dan menjalani malam yang normal sebagaimana seorang pacar dengan mu. Karena ku tahu, kita tak mungkin bisa melakukan hal -hal tertentu di umum...
Malamnya, kau datang lagi, masih dengan baju putih dan topi putih. Yang ada di pikiranku saat itu hanyalah, betapa ku beruntung bisa mendapatkan cintamu.
Thank you for coming, hon....
Our Story - Part II - First Date
Part 2 - First Date - Hachiko
Kencan pertama, kita merencanakan akan menonton Hachiko di PI di jumat malam, hari pertama kita akan bertemu setelah 1 tahun lebih kenal.
Gw masih ingat status ym lu, 2 status ym lu yang selalu kuingat di hati, “I’m yours :D “ dan “ Duduk manis di sini menanti dirimu” status yg terakhir itu kau taruh pada saat hari jumat sore, hari di mana kita janji akan bertemu.
Gw masih ingat, minggu minggu pertama di saat kata suka sudah terucap, gw selalu senyum-senyum sendiri, dan lu sendiri juga ngaku kalau elu ngalamin hal yang sama, lu pernah bilang kalau nyokap bilang lu senyum-senyum sendiri kaya orang gila.. Hehe
Gw selalu menanti sms dan ym mu.
• Ingatkah gw pernah bilang jgn ym gw di kantor sebelum gw yang ym duluan hanya karena takut ada teman kantor yang melihat.
• Ingatkah dirimu kalau gak peduli di manapun, di busway, di kantor, selalu ada sms dari diriku yang membuat dirimu tersenyum, dan selalu ada sms dari dirimu yang membuat diriku tersenyum
(Susah juga nulis semua kenangan manis ini dengan rasa sakit hati, tapi akan kulanjutkan..)
Malam kencan pertama yang sudah lama kita tunggu akhirnya sampai juga. Maaf, karena salah memberi arah, kau malah menunggu di tempat yang terlewat sedikit. Maaf juga karena diriku telat bentar, ku tau kau tak suka menunggu.
Kencan pertama, di PI, nonton Hachiko, selama dalam perjalanan, kita banyak diam, pengen rasanya ku memeluk dirimu, tapi kuurungkan niatku, karena ku ingat kalimat mu “boleh2 saja, asal wajar di depan umum”. Takut ku-memeluk terlalu tak wajar...
Gw yang gak pernah ke PI, karena sering salah jalan, kau tuntun bahu ku dengan lembut saat hendak mencari jalan. Tahukah dirimu, betapa bergetarnya hatiku ketika kau lakukan itu? Mungkin kau tak pernah tahu, karena memang tak pernah kukatakan padamu.
Setelah nonton, kau membeli makanan yang kau suka, old chang kee. Tapi karena curry puffnya sudah abis, akhirnya kau membeli yang lain, squid kalau gk salah namanya. Kau membeli banyak, tapi ujungnya tak habis juga.
Malam kencan pertama, dilanjutkan di tempat gw. Begitu masuk ke dalam, kita berdua sangat canggung. Begitu hening, kasian dirimu yang kepanasan, tapi kau tahan juga.
(harus berhenti sebentar...hatiku ingin kau tahu, di saat ku menulis kisah ini, ku masih mencintaimu)
Akhirnya ku memulai percakapan, tidak lewat kata-kata, tapi lewat sms, kutunjukkan sms mu yang isinya “i want to hug you and kiss you”, gw blg “so?”
Kaw masih dengan senyum mu yang manis, dan masih canggung, meraih bahu gw, lalu kau cium dan kau peluk. Yes honey, that was my first kiss, and our first kiss. Sisanya, cukup kita berdua saja yang tahu...
Kencan pertama, kita merencanakan akan menonton Hachiko di PI di jumat malam, hari pertama kita akan bertemu setelah 1 tahun lebih kenal.
Gw masih ingat status ym lu, 2 status ym lu yang selalu kuingat di hati, “I’m yours :D “ dan “ Duduk manis di sini menanti dirimu” status yg terakhir itu kau taruh pada saat hari jumat sore, hari di mana kita janji akan bertemu.
Gw masih ingat, minggu minggu pertama di saat kata suka sudah terucap, gw selalu senyum-senyum sendiri, dan lu sendiri juga ngaku kalau elu ngalamin hal yang sama, lu pernah bilang kalau nyokap bilang lu senyum-senyum sendiri kaya orang gila.. Hehe
Gw selalu menanti sms dan ym mu.
• Ingatkah gw pernah bilang jgn ym gw di kantor sebelum gw yang ym duluan hanya karena takut ada teman kantor yang melihat.
• Ingatkah dirimu kalau gak peduli di manapun, di busway, di kantor, selalu ada sms dari diriku yang membuat dirimu tersenyum, dan selalu ada sms dari dirimu yang membuat diriku tersenyum
(Susah juga nulis semua kenangan manis ini dengan rasa sakit hati, tapi akan kulanjutkan..)
Malam kencan pertama yang sudah lama kita tunggu akhirnya sampai juga. Maaf, karena salah memberi arah, kau malah menunggu di tempat yang terlewat sedikit. Maaf juga karena diriku telat bentar, ku tau kau tak suka menunggu.
Kencan pertama, di PI, nonton Hachiko, selama dalam perjalanan, kita banyak diam, pengen rasanya ku memeluk dirimu, tapi kuurungkan niatku, karena ku ingat kalimat mu “boleh2 saja, asal wajar di depan umum”. Takut ku-memeluk terlalu tak wajar...
Gw yang gak pernah ke PI, karena sering salah jalan, kau tuntun bahu ku dengan lembut saat hendak mencari jalan. Tahukah dirimu, betapa bergetarnya hatiku ketika kau lakukan itu? Mungkin kau tak pernah tahu, karena memang tak pernah kukatakan padamu.
Setelah nonton, kau membeli makanan yang kau suka, old chang kee. Tapi karena curry puffnya sudah abis, akhirnya kau membeli yang lain, squid kalau gk salah namanya. Kau membeli banyak, tapi ujungnya tak habis juga.
Malam kencan pertama, dilanjutkan di tempat gw. Begitu masuk ke dalam, kita berdua sangat canggung. Begitu hening, kasian dirimu yang kepanasan, tapi kau tahan juga.
(harus berhenti sebentar...hatiku ingin kau tahu, di saat ku menulis kisah ini, ku masih mencintaimu)
Akhirnya ku memulai percakapan, tidak lewat kata-kata, tapi lewat sms, kutunjukkan sms mu yang isinya “i want to hug you and kiss you”, gw blg “so?”
Kaw masih dengan senyum mu yang manis, dan masih canggung, meraih bahu gw, lalu kau cium dan kau peluk. Yes honey, that was my first kiss, and our first kiss. Sisanya, cukup kita berdua saja yang tahu...
Our Story - Part I - The Beginnning
26 November 2010
Memori indah yang pernah kita punya bersama, yang kini berubah menyakitkan
Memori indah yang kutau harus kubuang suatu saat nanti.
Memori tanda cinta dan kesetiaan dari dua anak manusia
Yang pernah saling mencinta dan saling berjanji setia
The Beginning - The Story of how we met
Part 1 - Love is in the Air
(Nama sudah disamarkan, tempat dan waktu adalah benar)
Ku masih ingat, saat pertama kita saling jatuh cinta. Semuanya berawal dari dirimu yang berkata “say”, dan kubalas dengan “jangan gunakan kata itu padaku kalau memang tak niat, karena ku juga sedang merasakan hal yang sama padamu”.Haha, sudah sifat dan sikap gw itu, sok cool, padahal kadang bisa menjadi sangat sotoy dan plin plan.
Tapi, kau seakan tak peduli, selalu kau gunakan kata itu, you make me fall for u, diawali dengan rasa suka menjadi cinta. Ingatkah dirimu kapan kata suka terucap? :)
G : “lagi online di game?”
U: “iya, kenapa?
G: “oh, bisa online ym bntr? Ada yang mau gw blg?”
U: “iya, bentar ya”
G: (gw yang gk bisa nunggu akhirnya login ke game itu, gw whisp ke lu, gw blg) “I think, i like you” (lagi-lagi gw dengan sok coolnya, gw blg) “suka duank sih, hehe”
U: “i like you, too”
G: “gw online cm mau bilang itu sih, gw off dulu yah”
Gw log off dari game, dan saat itu, kita lanjutkan percakapan di ym, dengan gaya yang masih saja sok, gw masih bermain tarik ulur, sampai kukira dirimu bete. Saat itu juga, ku memutuskan untuk menelepon dirimu untuk pertama kalinya.
Beberapa kali kutelepon, tak ada yang angkat, sampai diriku panik sendiri. Pikirku “apa yang uda gw lakuin, kenapa gw malah bikin org yang gw suka ngambek sama gw, kenapa gw harus sok-sokan cm suka, jelas2 cinta”
Akhirnya setelah beberapa kali mencoba lagi, dirimu menjawab dari seberang sana, yang ternyata ketiduran. Haha, tak pernah kau tahu, betapa leganya hatiku.
Pertama kali mendengar suaramu, yang terpikir di hatiku adalah, ini anak suaranya manja juga. Yang di mana, suara inilah yang setiap hari menemani gw telepon, berbagi kisah, suka dan kesedihan selama 7 bulan ke depannya...
Di percakapan pertama kita, kau bertanya, mau dipanggil apa? Gw bilang terserah, kaw bilang sayang terlalu lazim, akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk menggunakan kata “Honey”. Malamnya, ku tak bisa tidur...karena dirimu memenuhi pikiranku
Ku sms dirimu: “gak bisa tidur neh, gara2 lu, tanggung jawab gih”
Sms balasan: “ya, gmn caranya?”
Akhirnya tertidur juga...kalau gk salah pas jam 2 pagi, besoknya uda mesti kerja lagi, hehe
Paginya, tak seperti biasanya, kau bangun pagi, saat gw masih naik bus 91 sampai ke CL, ku sms dan kau balas. Kalau tidak salah, ada kerjaan untuk menjadi LO di GI yang mengharuskan lu bangun pagi. Yang kau bilang akan didandan menjadi “makhluk biru”, taukah dirimu kenapa tak pernah sekalipun ku meminta untuk melihat foto itu? Bukan karena ku tak mau, tapi karena kau sendiri bilang kalau kau gk suka akan tampang lu saat itu, makanya ku tak pernah meminta.
Memori indah yang pernah kita punya bersama, yang kini berubah menyakitkan
Memori indah yang kutau harus kubuang suatu saat nanti.
Memori tanda cinta dan kesetiaan dari dua anak manusia
Yang pernah saling mencinta dan saling berjanji setia
The Beginning - The Story of how we met
Part 1 - Love is in the Air
(Nama sudah disamarkan, tempat dan waktu adalah benar)
Ku masih ingat, saat pertama kita saling jatuh cinta. Semuanya berawal dari dirimu yang berkata “say”, dan kubalas dengan “jangan gunakan kata itu padaku kalau memang tak niat, karena ku juga sedang merasakan hal yang sama padamu”.Haha, sudah sifat dan sikap gw itu, sok cool, padahal kadang bisa menjadi sangat sotoy dan plin plan.
Tapi, kau seakan tak peduli, selalu kau gunakan kata itu, you make me fall for u, diawali dengan rasa suka menjadi cinta. Ingatkah dirimu kapan kata suka terucap? :)
G : “lagi online di game?”
U: “iya, kenapa?
G: “oh, bisa online ym bntr? Ada yang mau gw blg?”
U: “iya, bentar ya”
G: (gw yang gk bisa nunggu akhirnya login ke game itu, gw whisp ke lu, gw blg) “I think, i like you” (lagi-lagi gw dengan sok coolnya, gw blg) “suka duank sih, hehe”
U: “i like you, too”
G: “gw online cm mau bilang itu sih, gw off dulu yah”
Gw log off dari game, dan saat itu, kita lanjutkan percakapan di ym, dengan gaya yang masih saja sok, gw masih bermain tarik ulur, sampai kukira dirimu bete. Saat itu juga, ku memutuskan untuk menelepon dirimu untuk pertama kalinya.
Beberapa kali kutelepon, tak ada yang angkat, sampai diriku panik sendiri. Pikirku “apa yang uda gw lakuin, kenapa gw malah bikin org yang gw suka ngambek sama gw, kenapa gw harus sok-sokan cm suka, jelas2 cinta”
Akhirnya setelah beberapa kali mencoba lagi, dirimu menjawab dari seberang sana, yang ternyata ketiduran. Haha, tak pernah kau tahu, betapa leganya hatiku.
Pertama kali mendengar suaramu, yang terpikir di hatiku adalah, ini anak suaranya manja juga. Yang di mana, suara inilah yang setiap hari menemani gw telepon, berbagi kisah, suka dan kesedihan selama 7 bulan ke depannya...
Di percakapan pertama kita, kau bertanya, mau dipanggil apa? Gw bilang terserah, kaw bilang sayang terlalu lazim, akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk menggunakan kata “Honey”. Malamnya, ku tak bisa tidur...karena dirimu memenuhi pikiranku
Ku sms dirimu: “gak bisa tidur neh, gara2 lu, tanggung jawab gih”
Sms balasan: “ya, gmn caranya?”
Akhirnya tertidur juga...kalau gk salah pas jam 2 pagi, besoknya uda mesti kerja lagi, hehe
Paginya, tak seperti biasanya, kau bangun pagi, saat gw masih naik bus 91 sampai ke CL, ku sms dan kau balas. Kalau tidak salah, ada kerjaan untuk menjadi LO di GI yang mengharuskan lu bangun pagi. Yang kau bilang akan didandan menjadi “makhluk biru”, taukah dirimu kenapa tak pernah sekalipun ku meminta untuk melihat foto itu? Bukan karena ku tak mau, tapi karena kau sendiri bilang kalau kau gk suka akan tampang lu saat itu, makanya ku tak pernah meminta.
Rabu, 24 November 2010
Then you look at me
25 Nov 2010
I heard another sad news today.. another friend's dad died due to illness
Condolences to her and her family...
I remembered a song
"Then you look at me - Celine Dion"
Laugh and cry, live and die
Life is a dream we are dreaming..
People run from sun to sun
Caught in a life ever flowing
Day by day, i find my way...
Look for the song and the meaning....
Then you look at me, and i always see
what i have been searching for...
as lost as can be, then you look at me
and i am not lost anymore....
Hm...i somehow think that, separation is inevitable, no matter what the cause is
I never regret telling the ones i love that i love them
If i may, i will tell them everyday...
Sigh, i am remembering some feelings which i shouldn't
I remember my love for you again...
And no, i have no regret telling you "i love you"
if i have the chance, i want to be able to tell you that every day
i want to whisper those words to you every morning you wake up
My saddest thing that i regret the most is:
when you tell me that you are bored
when you tell me that you don't love me anymore
I somehow know that i can mend it, if i were there in Jakarta
but i am not...which breaks my heart a lot..
You know how hurt i felt? I know i can mend it, but i can't
that feeling really sucks, you know that...
I heard another sad news today.. another friend's dad died due to illness
Condolences to her and her family...
I remembered a song
"Then you look at me - Celine Dion"
Laugh and cry, live and die
Life is a dream we are dreaming..
People run from sun to sun
Caught in a life ever flowing
Day by day, i find my way...
Look for the song and the meaning....
Then you look at me, and i always see
what i have been searching for...
as lost as can be, then you look at me
and i am not lost anymore....
Hm...i somehow think that, separation is inevitable, no matter what the cause is
I never regret telling the ones i love that i love them
If i may, i will tell them everyday...
Sigh, i am remembering some feelings which i shouldn't
I remember my love for you again...
And no, i have no regret telling you "i love you"
if i have the chance, i want to be able to tell you that every day
i want to whisper those words to you every morning you wake up
My saddest thing that i regret the most is:
when you tell me that you are bored
when you tell me that you don't love me anymore
I somehow know that i can mend it, if i were there in Jakarta
but i am not...which breaks my heart a lot..
You know how hurt i felt? I know i can mend it, but i can't
that feeling really sucks, you know that...
Stressful worklife
Dear diary,
No other place to turn to, i can only turn to you
I used to have someone to talk to about these stuffs
Back then, no matter how painful and stressful the work can be
I can always turn to that someone..
I just know that, every time i go back home...
You will always wait for me, with your laugh and smile
Now, don't get me wrong, i am not trying to use these words to get you back
It is just that i need to write these feelings somewhere, you know that right
That is why i don't label this post "for you", i use "my life" as the label
Anyway, i got into some trouble and it is painful and stressful enough that i want to cry, but i can't. Either it is because the tear won't come out or because I am too proud to cry and discuss this feeling with my colleagues. I don't know that this work can cause me such a great pain. If i knew, i wouldn't have accepted it.
Dear diary,
Now i know, i can't always depend on you
I must be able to stand up by myself
I keep telling myself "don't worry, you will be alright"
But it seems that "alright" is not here yet, it is still far from sight...
This past month i have been so hurt and painful
I don't deny that the breakup actually took a big toll on my life
I sometimes wonder, why do i have to fall in love with you if it will only end like this..It is too painful, I still love you very much at the time i broke up with you.
And probably still do...
No, i have to forget you. You are not mine anymore. As much as i love the words "i'm yours" you wrote on your YM status long time ago. I know it already ends. It hurts, but yes, i have to move on...I really do...
I am sorry i have to ym you again tonight, please know this that, actually i intended not to ym lu anymore..but it is just that suddenly this work pose such a major problem that i don't know who to turn to.. I thank you from the depth of my heart for listening...
All will be well...
One day..for sure..I believe
No other place to turn to, i can only turn to you
I used to have someone to talk to about these stuffs
Back then, no matter how painful and stressful the work can be
I can always turn to that someone..
I just know that, every time i go back home...
You will always wait for me, with your laugh and smile
Now, don't get me wrong, i am not trying to use these words to get you back
It is just that i need to write these feelings somewhere, you know that right
That is why i don't label this post "for you", i use "my life" as the label
Anyway, i got into some trouble and it is painful and stressful enough that i want to cry, but i can't. Either it is because the tear won't come out or because I am too proud to cry and discuss this feeling with my colleagues. I don't know that this work can cause me such a great pain. If i knew, i wouldn't have accepted it.
Dear diary,
Now i know, i can't always depend on you
I must be able to stand up by myself
I keep telling myself "don't worry, you will be alright"
But it seems that "alright" is not here yet, it is still far from sight...
This past month i have been so hurt and painful
I don't deny that the breakup actually took a big toll on my life
I sometimes wonder, why do i have to fall in love with you if it will only end like this..It is too painful, I still love you very much at the time i broke up with you.
And probably still do...
No, i have to forget you. You are not mine anymore. As much as i love the words "i'm yours" you wrote on your YM status long time ago. I know it already ends. It hurts, but yes, i have to move on...I really do...
I am sorry i have to ym you again tonight, please know this that, actually i intended not to ym lu anymore..but it is just that suddenly this work pose such a major problem that i don't know who to turn to.. I thank you from the depth of my heart for listening...
All will be well...
One day..for sure..I believe
Kamis, 18 November 2010
Home
You know that i love to sing even with my so-so voice
I just want to let you know that whenever i am apart from you
I always sing this song, in the shower, of course :D
My friends even teased me for having such a bad voice, haha
Home
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
I just want to let you know that whenever i am apart from you
I always sing this song, in the shower, of course :D
My friends even teased me for having such a bad voice, haha
Home
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Rabu, 17 November 2010
Another day in Banjar
16 November 2010
16 November 2010, this date is kinda historical. Who knows that one year can be this fast? It has been one year since i signed the work contract. That means i have only 2 more years to go...I can do it..
People are complicated, we always seek for a change, be it to be better or worse. One can only hope, but sometimes, during those efforts, we can be out of track, it is good to have friends to remind you always if you are about to do something wrong.
Thank you, Ayu and Liung, never met such a good friend who dare to step up and tell me what i am doing wrongly.
18 November 2011
I suddenly remember my grandma. Here is the story. My grandma was married twice. Once to a husband who abused her, so she got a divorce. My mum is her daughter from her second husband. My mum told me that, after my grandpa died, my granma is so sad, that she couldn’t sleep for a long time, and hence she had a mental disorder. Even with her state, she was very kind and protective of us. She often scolded the nanny for no reason, she even walked a long walk just to deliver the food she bought to her grandchildren.
That is why, i know that people should learn to let go of something and move on, but whenever i think about how people could meet and then separate, it is just awful. Truly, goodbye is the saddest word. Don’t ever say goodbye, for me, goodbye means that it is very unlikely that you will meet again. From now on, i will only say “see you” or “till we meet again”.
Tell the ones you love that you love them everyday, for time waits for nobody. No one knows what the future hold. Cherish every moments you have now, and you will have no regrets...
16 November 2010, this date is kinda historical. Who knows that one year can be this fast? It has been one year since i signed the work contract. That means i have only 2 more years to go...I can do it..
People are complicated, we always seek for a change, be it to be better or worse. One can only hope, but sometimes, during those efforts, we can be out of track, it is good to have friends to remind you always if you are about to do something wrong.
Thank you, Ayu and Liung, never met such a good friend who dare to step up and tell me what i am doing wrongly.
18 November 2011
I suddenly remember my grandma. Here is the story. My grandma was married twice. Once to a husband who abused her, so she got a divorce. My mum is her daughter from her second husband. My mum told me that, after my grandpa died, my granma is so sad, that she couldn’t sleep for a long time, and hence she had a mental disorder. Even with her state, she was very kind and protective of us. She often scolded the nanny for no reason, she even walked a long walk just to deliver the food she bought to her grandchildren.
That is why, i know that people should learn to let go of something and move on, but whenever i think about how people could meet and then separate, it is just awful. Truly, goodbye is the saddest word. Don’t ever say goodbye, for me, goodbye means that it is very unlikely that you will meet again. From now on, i will only say “see you” or “till we meet again”.
Tell the ones you love that you love them everyday, for time waits for nobody. No one knows what the future hold. Cherish every moments you have now, and you will have no regrets...
Chicken soup
17 November 2010
A holiday! But gosh, time passes so fast, it is just like i just woke up in the morning, but now..it is already 5 pm.
Hm..let's see what have i done today. I woke up, do some walking, browsing the internet, going to the mall, bought a pair of new trousers, which is a bit too long, hehe... Ate magnum ice cream for the second time i think for 25 years... haha...Bought a chicken soup book, will read it soon
Hope i got some inspiration on how to behave..
24 November 2010
Finished reading that book, it is a good book, teach me about how to love someone around me, it teaches me about how to appreciate everyone God has given me in my life.
Bumps along the relationship is to be expected. It is just about how you handle it, if you love your partner, tell him/her you love him/her.
I am glad, i always did that to you. At least, i have no regrets, I know that you know how much i love you, right?
Anyway, good book
A holiday! But gosh, time passes so fast, it is just like i just woke up in the morning, but now..it is already 5 pm.
Hm..let's see what have i done today. I woke up, do some walking, browsing the internet, going to the mall, bought a pair of new trousers, which is a bit too long, hehe... Ate magnum ice cream for the second time i think for 25 years... haha...Bought a chicken soup book, will read it soon
Hope i got some inspiration on how to behave..
24 November 2010
Finished reading that book, it is a good book, teach me about how to love someone around me, it teaches me about how to appreciate everyone God has given me in my life.
Bumps along the relationship is to be expected. It is just about how you handle it, if you love your partner, tell him/her you love him/her.
I am glad, i always did that to you. At least, i have no regrets, I know that you know how much i love you, right?
Anyway, good book
Kamis, 04 November 2010
Guide to a better life
A dear friend gave me this article...
Hope it will be useful to anyone reading this :)
GUIDE To A BETTER LIFE
This is amazing, Randy Pausch 47 years old, and a computer Science lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book “The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.
Points of How to improve your life
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more
14.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15.Call your family often
16.Each day give something good to others
17.Forgive everyone for everything
18.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.What other people think of you is none of your business
21.Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22.Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.GOD heals everything
24.Do the right things
25.However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.The best is yet to come
28.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice the entire above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
Remember, Good Things are for us to share..
Hope it will be useful to anyone reading this :)
GUIDE To A BETTER LIFE
This is amazing, Randy Pausch 47 years old, and a computer Science lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book “The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.
Points of How to improve your life
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more
14.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15.Call your family often
16.Each day give something good to others
17.Forgive everyone for everything
18.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.What other people think of you is none of your business
21.Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22.Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.GOD heals everything
24.Do the right things
25.However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.The best is yet to come
28.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice the entire above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
Remember, Good Things are for us to share..
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