17 November 2010
A holiday! But gosh, time passes so fast, it is just like i just woke up in the morning, but now..it is already 5 pm.
Hm..let's see what have i done today. I woke up, do some walking, browsing the internet, going to the mall, bought a pair of new trousers, which is a bit too long, hehe... Ate magnum ice cream for the second time i think for 25 years... haha...Bought a chicken soup book, will read it soon
Hope i got some inspiration on how to behave..
24 November 2010
Finished reading that book, it is a good book, teach me about how to love someone around me, it teaches me about how to appreciate everyone God has given me in my life.
Bumps along the relationship is to be expected. It is just about how you handle it, if you love your partner, tell him/her you love him/her.
I am glad, i always did that to you. At least, i have no regrets, I know that you know how much i love you, right?
Anyway, good book
Rabu, 17 November 2010
Selasa, 16 November 2010
Letter to you (2)
Have been doing some thinking (it is just who i am...)
Now i can see how selfish i am, i always talk about how much i love you, but i have to be honest with you, i have doubts too sometimes, one of them is about my decision to keep on waiting for you. I am somehow afraid if i might get hurt or if this doesn’t work out, then i think i will be wasting time.
But, then i realize, if i do love you, then i should wait, even if it doesn’t work out between us... at least, i have proven that what i said is true, that all those feelings i have for you is real..and i won’t regret it.
It is my own choice after all...
People don’t live forever,
I just want to be happy, and i want to make you happy too
If God permit, i want us to be happy together
Come on now, give me a smile, just like you used to.
Don’t be sad, what done is done...it is for the best...
Listening to a song which pretty much concludes what i want to say to you, hehe, listen to this well, okay?
M2M - The Day You Went Away
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming ’bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces
And we were letting go of something special
Something we’ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know
Why do we never know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I’ve been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
Now i can see how selfish i am, i always talk about how much i love you, but i have to be honest with you, i have doubts too sometimes, one of them is about my decision to keep on waiting for you. I am somehow afraid if i might get hurt or if this doesn’t work out, then i think i will be wasting time.
But, then i realize, if i do love you, then i should wait, even if it doesn’t work out between us... at least, i have proven that what i said is true, that all those feelings i have for you is real..and i won’t regret it.
It is my own choice after all...
People don’t live forever,
I just want to be happy, and i want to make you happy too
If God permit, i want us to be happy together
Come on now, give me a smile, just like you used to.
Don’t be sad, what done is done...it is for the best...
Listening to a song which pretty much concludes what i want to say to you, hehe, listen to this well, okay?
M2M - The Day You Went Away
Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming ’bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time
Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do
Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there’s only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away
I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces
And we were letting go of something special
Something we’ll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know
Why do we never know what we’ve got ’til it’s gone
How could I carry on
The day you went away
Cause I’ve been missing you so much I have to say
Been crying since the day
Minggu, 14 November 2010
Letter to you (1)
15 November 2010 - 11.50 pm
Got back to Banjar, waiting for the car for about 30 minutes. Stopped by at the tofu shop and then go into office again to work.
It’s already noon in here, i wonder how you are doing there. You never like hot weather and too crowded places. Honestly, i still have mixed feeling. I do still love you, u know that right? That is why, it is still so hard for me to let go. Since morning, i’ve been thinking a lot, about what i should do and what i shouldn’t, but there are nothing that i can decide. I am such a fool now, i know. I want to be able to blame, but i can’t... I’ve been thinking about what i did wrong, so that we ended up like this. Am i not good enough for you? Or is it you are the one who is the fool to let go of me.
Anyway, i know that there is no use for us to know who is right or who is wrong. What is the purpose o f that? I really miss what we had, the way you care for me, the way you love me, I love that all.
Do you know that you are perfect in my eyes, you are everything that i am not.
I find it funny sometimes, how i am unable to recognize streets, but you can....like how i am a planner and you are not.
As always... i just want you to know that...i love you everyday, honey...
Let me keep this feeling safe in my heart.
I do not know how long i can keep this up, but i will try it as long as i can. ..
Got back to Banjar, waiting for the car for about 30 minutes. Stopped by at the tofu shop and then go into office again to work.
It’s already noon in here, i wonder how you are doing there. You never like hot weather and too crowded places. Honestly, i still have mixed feeling. I do still love you, u know that right? That is why, it is still so hard for me to let go. Since morning, i’ve been thinking a lot, about what i should do and what i shouldn’t, but there are nothing that i can decide. I am such a fool now, i know. I want to be able to blame, but i can’t... I’ve been thinking about what i did wrong, so that we ended up like this. Am i not good enough for you? Or is it you are the one who is the fool to let go of me.
Anyway, i know that there is no use for us to know who is right or who is wrong. What is the purpose o f that? I really miss what we had, the way you care for me, the way you love me, I love that all.
Do you know that you are perfect in my eyes, you are everything that i am not.
I find it funny sometimes, how i am unable to recognize streets, but you can....like how i am a planner and you are not.
As always... i just want you to know that...i love you everyday, honey...
Let me keep this feeling safe in my heart.
I do not know how long i can keep this up, but i will try it as long as i can. ..
Kamis, 11 November 2010
Particular Evening
11 November 2010 - 7.30 pm
It is evening now here, still thinking of you..i wonder if you will ever know. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you anymore. Currently listening to all those songs we have listened to together at our first weeks. Those songs are still good to listen, but the feelings that are listening to them now are a bit different.
Don’t get me wrong, i can still afford a smile or two. However, i still can’t let go of all those memories we have ever had together. Honestly, i don’t know what the future hold for the both of us, but then again...i am just a human, with heart, with feelings...don’t blame me for keeping this hope in my heart...
It is evening now here, still thinking of you..i wonder if you will ever know. Maybe it doesn’t matter to you anymore. Currently listening to all those songs we have listened to together at our first weeks. Those songs are still good to listen, but the feelings that are listening to them now are a bit different.
Don’t get me wrong, i can still afford a smile or two. However, i still can’t let go of all those memories we have ever had together. Honestly, i don’t know what the future hold for the both of us, but then again...i am just a human, with heart, with feelings...don’t blame me for keeping this hope in my heart...
Jumat, 05 November 2010
To the one i love...
To the one i love,
(probably when you are reading this, you will need a dictionary and the grammar lessons i gave you, only read this if you think that you miss me, if you are not, don’t continue, just leave....)
When you are reading this, probably i am not by your side anymore...I woke up on 6 November 2010, just thinking about us, about what i want to do with my life, and i know that i can’t stay like this forever...I need to move on with my life, but it is just that i love you so much that i can’t stop. I am afraid i might lose my mind, so i decided that if things can’t work out between us, then i probably have to erase all those memories we have, and erase you from my life completely....
Before i do, i know that i have to write all these memories down, so there will be something to remind me of what we had once....
Honey, I will miss the way you squeeze my hand gently when i put my hand next to your arm when we are together at night. I will miss the way you look at me with your loving eyes whenever i come back to your side from work and you greet me. I will miss the way you smile so stupidly, the way you laugh and the way you react when you are ashamed...(you know when you suddenly fart) :)
I will miss your arms around my waist and my shoulder. I will miss the way you touch my shoulder when we first met and watched a movie together. I will never forget the way we feed each other with cookies or the likes. I miss to see you so happy when you are playing games, and i miss the image of looking at you even from your back when you are playing. I miss the way i hug you at night.
I will never forget how you ask me to move to sleep next to you at night. The way you so ashamedly won’t walk into a store when we were in Tanjung Duren. I love the way you got jealous when i tease you about what i did with my friends (please know that i did that only to see you jealous, because that way i can really feel your love, it never occurs in my mind to love another when i am with you).
I miss the way you call me 'sotoy', i will miss the time when i am waiting happily like a little child waiting for his candy. I really miss the way i call you :’ud ud ud’, and you answer with ‘y y y?’ I will miss the way you sit on my lap, and me touching your hair and face. I will miss the taste of your lips when we kissed (and no, i won’t go any further, you know me....). Most importantly the one thing i will never forget, is the look you gave me when i am going out town for work, as i promise, this image of you, i will forever keep in my heart....
If things doesn’t work out between us, i want you to know, that i will always love you.. There is no one who is right or wrong in a relationship, I believe that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it is both fault. Remember something, when you ask advices from your friend, please know that all they see is the third perspective, they can’t be 100% sure of what you are doing and what you have endured, so, it is always wise to decide things on your own and with your heart. Please remember my advices, don’t ruin your life with games, or anything bad. You know, you are a good person, and you deserve to have a good life.
So i will bid you farewell, you, the first love of my life, please know that, asking me to be your friend while i am still in love with you is cruel and hard. But, i can only try....
There’s also something else you need to know, i want to apologize if i ever make you sad or distract you or probably annoy you. But you have to know, i did all those things because of my love and my care to you, none of my text messages or my calls late at night is for fun only, i really did that because i care about you.
Last but not least...I must tell you something and i will tell you now: “Honey, i will always love you. I will be waiting for you, but please don’t take too long, because i miss you already..."
From the one who love you sincerely...
(probably when you are reading this, you will need a dictionary and the grammar lessons i gave you, only read this if you think that you miss me, if you are not, don’t continue, just leave....)
When you are reading this, probably i am not by your side anymore...I woke up on 6 November 2010, just thinking about us, about what i want to do with my life, and i know that i can’t stay like this forever...I need to move on with my life, but it is just that i love you so much that i can’t stop. I am afraid i might lose my mind, so i decided that if things can’t work out between us, then i probably have to erase all those memories we have, and erase you from my life completely....
Before i do, i know that i have to write all these memories down, so there will be something to remind me of what we had once....
Honey, I will miss the way you squeeze my hand gently when i put my hand next to your arm when we are together at night. I will miss the way you look at me with your loving eyes whenever i come back to your side from work and you greet me. I will miss the way you smile so stupidly, the way you laugh and the way you react when you are ashamed...(you know when you suddenly fart) :)
I will miss your arms around my waist and my shoulder. I will miss the way you touch my shoulder when we first met and watched a movie together. I will never forget the way we feed each other with cookies or the likes. I miss to see you so happy when you are playing games, and i miss the image of looking at you even from your back when you are playing. I miss the way i hug you at night.
I will never forget how you ask me to move to sleep next to you at night. The way you so ashamedly won’t walk into a store when we were in Tanjung Duren. I love the way you got jealous when i tease you about what i did with my friends (please know that i did that only to see you jealous, because that way i can really feel your love, it never occurs in my mind to love another when i am with you).
I miss the way you call me 'sotoy', i will miss the time when i am waiting happily like a little child waiting for his candy. I really miss the way i call you :’ud ud ud’, and you answer with ‘y y y?’ I will miss the way you sit on my lap, and me touching your hair and face. I will miss the taste of your lips when we kissed (and no, i won’t go any further, you know me....). Most importantly the one thing i will never forget, is the look you gave me when i am going out town for work, as i promise, this image of you, i will forever keep in my heart....
If things doesn’t work out between us, i want you to know, that i will always love you.. There is no one who is right or wrong in a relationship, I believe that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it is both fault. Remember something, when you ask advices from your friend, please know that all they see is the third perspective, they can’t be 100% sure of what you are doing and what you have endured, so, it is always wise to decide things on your own and with your heart. Please remember my advices, don’t ruin your life with games, or anything bad. You know, you are a good person, and you deserve to have a good life.
So i will bid you farewell, you, the first love of my life, please know that, asking me to be your friend while i am still in love with you is cruel and hard. But, i can only try....
There’s also something else you need to know, i want to apologize if i ever make you sad or distract you or probably annoy you. But you have to know, i did all those things because of my love and my care to you, none of my text messages or my calls late at night is for fun only, i really did that because i care about you.
Last but not least...I must tell you something and i will tell you now: “Honey, i will always love you. I will be waiting for you, but please don’t take too long, because i miss you already..."
From the one who love you sincerely...
Kamis, 04 November 2010
Guide to a better life
A dear friend gave me this article...
Hope it will be useful to anyone reading this :)
GUIDE To A BETTER LIFE
This is amazing, Randy Pausch 47 years old, and a computer Science lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book “The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.
Points of How to improve your life
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more
14.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15.Call your family often
16.Each day give something good to others
17.Forgive everyone for everything
18.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.What other people think of you is none of your business
21.Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22.Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.GOD heals everything
24.Do the right things
25.However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.The best is yet to come
28.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice the entire above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
Remember, Good Things are for us to share..
Hope it will be useful to anyone reading this :)
GUIDE To A BETTER LIFE
This is amazing, Randy Pausch 47 years old, and a computer Science lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book “The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.
Points of How to improve your life
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more
14.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Community:
15.Call your family often
16.Each day give something good to others
17.Forgive everyone for everything
18.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.What other people think of you is none of your business
21.Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
22.Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.GOD heals everything
24.Do the right things
25.However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.The best is yet to come
28.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.
While you practice the entire above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.
Remember, Good Things are for us to share..
Happiness...
Simple quote:
Happiness...
It's something everyone searches for...
Some are sure they'll find it when they move back home
Some think they'll find it by making a new friend
Some hope they'll find it once they defeat the competition
Then, there are those who stopped searching for it
Because they look up one day only to discover...
That it is right in front of them... all of the time...
Happiness...
It's something everyone searches for...
Some are sure they'll find it when they move back home
Some think they'll find it by making a new friend
Some hope they'll find it once they defeat the competition
Then, there are those who stopped searching for it
Because they look up one day only to discover...
That it is right in front of them... all of the time...
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