Midnight true new year's resolution

it is 11.38 pm now...but suddenly i feel the urge to post..:D
Ok, first of all, the recap of these past 3 weeks...

Work
Work is beginning to be "friendlier", i mean i think i can somehow calm the voice inside my head which keep saying "maybe i should not". well, it is not totally calmed down, but yea..i am working on it. On 20th, i had some "revelation" talks with my senior...and everything turns out good...Just hope to be better and study harder...and yea, i am still "addicted" to coffee to keep my alert

Personal
Hm..one word: mundane. Aside from swimming, watching movies in the cinema, nothing else. When i think about it, it is pretty ordinary, don't u think? But...is extraordinary better? huh? huh?

Lesson of the day: " ants mingle with ants " (ok,i made this up) , the point is, u have to be better if u want to be accepted by better peer. It is a must i think, the reason being, people dislike others who are different. I know, but don't give me that "you don't have to do that much to get accepted by that someone". No, what i do, is mostly because it is what i want to do, i am not doing it for someone else, it is for myself

So? what is it?
Haha, ok..i decided to write it down. I decided to challange myself
My new year resolution: " I will have a good shaped body ", target: June...ok, fine
let's see what i can achieve by June.

Here is another one: " i will save up 10 millions at least in one year "

Ok, so...next step, how?
- join a gym or buy that resistance band u had wanted a few months ago?
- for the second one, no other choice than saving up..since i can't work an additional job

oh yea....bring it on !!

huh...i always tell myself, i want to have a special life, i want to live my life to the fullest with no regrets. But honestly, i don't know how? How do we know? You know what the scariest part is? I know that life is short, but still, i am not doing anything to make my life more ... colorful...

oh, what shall i do??

Been searching and browsing a lot this day...don't ask where, when, or what..lol
Well, this blog is intended to reveal all my feelings, thoughts, etc...but when i look back at it...
It is still...looks like a puzzle...maybe not a puzzle, a mystery..with all those things kept hidden...

haha....dare to try this? wake up in the morning, call ur loved ones, and tell them "I love ya"
dare u? lol... huh...i don't think i can, not yet... Why is the topic becoming this one? ahhaha..argh, i don't know la... just go with the flow...

What if?

Hm...watched another episode again

got another good life lessons...again

The nature of a tragedy always cause people to ask : "what if?"
"What if i have chosen differently?"
"What if i had made that mistake?"
We gotta learn to focus on what is ahead and keep on living the best way we know how...

Recap of 2008

Let's see what i have done in 2008
Maybe a short recap (hope i still remember few that are important)

- January: Thesis time
- February: Still thesis time
- March: Finish the thesis plus dan lulus sidang *dunno how to say this in english*
- April: Start looking for job...declined a few offers
- May: Still looking for job...rejected by a few
- June: Still looking for job, start taking side job if i recalled right
- July: Finish the job, and got rejected by that Sampoerna
- August: exactly at 2nd aug, i went back home. Home sweet home
- Sept: still at home..enjoying myself. Love my family!!
- Oct: Got back to jakarta on 13 oct
- Nov: Well, i got a job here. exactly at 16th nov
- Dec: one month since i got my job. Got friends from work, they are mostly good people. :)

Ok, more about the inner and personal stuffs
Huh....well, the first days at work, i appreciate all i have and all i had more..
I tried to cherish all the people that are around me.. Glad to have u all.. This life would be different without u guys. (absolutely!!)

More about my work
Nov: around the 20ish starting to go back home from work in Pammy's car
Dec: exactly on 28 Dec, starting to go to work on Leo's motorcycle
During these two months, i spent more on movies. But, i gotta say it's worth it
Oh and i still work out from time to time, but not that intense, maybe in this new year..i will

Year 2009 Resolutions

So...a year has passed and uh...i've rechecked last year resolutions. All seem so general. No wonder i can easily done them all.. Well, time to make new ones which are more...precise

- I will have a good shaped body
- I will sleep and eat well
- I will exercise regularly
- I will conquered that SAP CO module
- I will love the ones i love more
- I will keep my good health
- I will get a brace -.- (lol...whatever)
- I will have a general medical check up
- I will pay more attention to my appearance

ok..for now, that is all
and below (just as reminder to help me remember how to achieve them)

• make your goal visual (image training), a visual reminder will keep you motivated
• set your timer (nothing gets your blood pumping harder than a due date)

Oh and, Thank God for last year, hope this 2009 year will be more marvellous :)
Thank you...

Rechecking my 2008 resolutions

So, i made a few 2008 resolutions. Let's see how many of them are fulfilled and how many are not. A few of them are as follow:

• finish my thesis, it's a must lol done
  
• work hard and play hard (play hard only or work hard only is a no-no) done..somehow
  
• learning to be able to express myself, and find my true self (this one's important for me) half-done
  
• spend more time with my family (i love them) still needs more tweaking
  
• financially capable (saya ingin dapat menjadi mapan...sudah waktunya cari duit :P) err, got a job somehow
  
• love myself more... (ini neh sumber masalah kalau gk bisa cinta diri sendiri..lol well, still got many things to go
  
• oh yea, another one, lebih mandiri di segala bidang deh (gw ingat entah baca di mana, spesialisasi itu cm buat serangga, manusia harus bisa melakukan banyak hal) sure do
  

Hm..secara overall, yang gw nilai sih banyak yang tercapai, tapi masi banyak yang harus dilakukan. Mungkinkah karena semuanya begitu kabur? Maksud gw tuh...kurang pas aja...kekna semua resolutions di atas itu umum-umum saja, betul?

ah...whatever...lol
time to make new ones for 2009
and this time, it MUST be precise

Pertemuan vs Perpisahan

Sabtu kemaren, ketemu teman-teman lama...trus paket deh di empo...
Nah, di sela-sela menunggu room full, pikiran suka melayang ke mana-mana
Dari pertemuan itu, gw jadi kepikiran hal lain...perpisahan (si teman mau pulang besoknya..ntah kapan baru bisa ketemu lagi)

Terlepas dari konteks itu, kenapa kalau ada pertemuan mesti ada perpisahan?
Gw ngerasa sedih aja seh....trus gw jadi kepikiran...apa selama gw sma, selama gw kuliah...ada hal yang uda gw lewatkan?

• Is there something I miss?
• If there is, what is it?
• How can i get it back?
• Is it too late?

Mungkin itu masi sesama teman yah..gimana kalau dengan keluarga?
Ya, gw tau sih...uda 5 tahun di jakarta sejak SMA, uda jauh dari keluarga selama 5 tahun juga...tapi kenapa baru bisa kepikiran skrg? Mungkin ini kehendak Tuhan, agar gw lebih menghargai waktu-waktu yang gw miliki dengan teman dan keluarga gw, agar tidak ada lagi hal yang bisa bikin gw menyesal.

I am not that strong a person. I am so weak at heart. I may look like so strong on the outside, but i know..i am so weak in the inside.

Ada yang bilang hidup itu seperti sandiwara, kalau peran si aktor uda selesai..maka ditutuplah pementasan tersebut... Kalimat itu ada benernya. Org Barat juga ada pepatah kek gitu..."the ball game is going to end, whether u like it or not". I think...what i can do now is...try to cherish what i have now and don't fall back

So, this is what i am going to say to myself

"Jangan mau nyesel lagi win....hidup itu cuma sekali...hargai dan cintai semua org yg ada di sekelilingmu....Nah, soal kerjaan, be realistic, gk peduli org lain bisa lsg to the top or no...yang penting that is not gonna happen with u! So, bersakit-sakit dahulu deh."

So, here is what i am gonna do:
I am gonna set a target for myself...I must already be successful when i am 28. Out of question! No excuses! Why? Because there is so many things i wanna to for my parents, for my family, for myself...I'll have to be strong and capable for that.

Cherish all the times u have with ur loved ones
The poker game is gonna end, whether u love it or not
Why don't we take the chips and leave the table winners??
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Mengganggap setiap saat sebagai suatu hadiah
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