To the one i love...

To the one i love,
(probably when you are reading this, you will need a dictionary and the grammar lessons i gave you, only read this if you think that you miss me, if you are not, don’t continue, just leave....)

When you are reading this, probably i am not by your side anymore...I woke up on 6 November 2010, just thinking about us, about what i want to do with my life, and i know that i can’t stay like this forever...I need to move on with my life, but it is just that i love you so much that i can’t stop. I am afraid i might lose my mind, so i decided that if things can’t work out between us, then i probably have to erase all those memories we have, and erase you from my life completely....

Before i do, i know that i have to write all these memories down, so there will be something to remind me of what we had once....

Honey, I will miss the way you squeeze my hand gently when i put my hand next to your arm when we are together at night. I will miss the way you look at me with your loving eyes whenever i come back to your side from work and you greet me. I will miss the way you smile so stupidly, the way you laugh and the way you react when you are ashamed...(you know when you suddenly fart) :)

I will miss your arms around my waist and my shoulder. I will miss the way you touch my shoulder when we first met and watched a movie together. I will never forget the way we feed each other with cookies or the likes. I miss to see you so happy when you are playing games, and i miss the image of looking at you even from your back when you are playing. I miss the way i hug you at night.

I will never forget how you ask me to move to sleep next to you at night. The way you so ashamedly won’t walk into a store when we were in Tanjung Duren. I love the way you got jealous when i tease you about what i did with my friends (please know that i did that only to see you jealous, because that way i can really feel your love, it never occurs in my mind to love another when i am with you).

I miss the way you call me 'sotoy', i will miss the time when i am waiting happily like a little child waiting for his candy. I really miss the way i call you :’ud ud ud’, and you answer with ‘y y y?’ I will miss the way you sit on my lap, and me touching your hair and face. I will miss the taste of your lips when we kissed (and no, i won’t go any further, you know me....). Most importantly the one thing i will never forget, is the look you gave me when i am going out town for work, as i promise, this image of you, i will forever keep in my heart....

If things doesn’t work out between us, i want you to know, that i will always love you.. There is no one who is right or wrong in a relationship, I believe that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it is both fault. Remember something, when you ask advices from your friend, please know that all they see is the third perspective, they can’t be 100% sure of what you are doing and what you have endured, so, it is always wise to decide things on your own and with your heart. Please remember my advices, don’t ruin your life with games, or anything bad. You know, you are a good person, and you deserve to have a good life.

So i will bid you farewell, you, the first love of my life, please know that, asking me to be your friend while i am still in love with you is cruel and hard. But, i can only try....

There’s also something else you need to know, i want to apologize if i ever make you sad or distract you or probably annoy you. But you have to know, i did all those things because of my love and my care to you, none of my text messages or my calls late at night is for fun only, i really did that because i care about you.

Last but not least...I must tell you something and i will tell you now: “Honey, i will always love you. I will be waiting for you, but please don’t take too long, because i miss you already..."

From the one who love you sincerely...

Guide to a better life

A dear friend gave me this article...

Hope it will be useful to anyone reading this :)

GUIDE To A BETTER LIFE


This is amazing, Randy Pausch 47 years old, and a computer Science lecturer from Mellon University. He died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book “The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…

In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.

Points of How to improve your life
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10.Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11.No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12.Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13.Smile and laugh more
14.You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15.Call your family often
16.Each day give something good to others
17.Forgive everyone for everything
18.Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19.Try to make at least three people smile each day
20.What other people think of you is none of your business
21.Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22.Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23.GOD heals everything
24.Do the right things
25.However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26.No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27.The best is yet to come
28.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29.When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30.If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice the entire above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with, people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

Remember, Good Things are for us to share..

Happiness...

Simple quote:

Happiness...
It's something everyone searches for...
Some are sure they'll find it when they move back home
Some think they'll find it by making a new friend
Some hope they'll find it once they defeat the competition

Then, there are those who stopped searching for it
Because they look up one day only to discover...
That it is right in front of them... all of the time...

Songs I listen to (Nov)

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Nice melody, nice lyrics

The best part i like:
"i love you enough to let you go"
"i want you to move on, so i'm already gone"

Walking around the block (1)

Took a walk around the block again..
With the will to clear my thoughts...
I have made up my mind..

I will still love you...
You don't have to love me back now...
You don't have to treat me as you bf...
But i ask of you to treat me as the one who loves you...

Anyway...i am sure you won't be reading this blog
That is why i am writing this now...

And now, the night falls...
Another Monday will come, yes..i admit, it won't be the best Monday i have
But, to be honest, not my worst either...

Hope you are still well there ...

Eat Pray Love

I like this movie, simply because it kinda teaches me many things i have forgotten:

- To let go of something you should, don't be afraid, BOTH of you deserves to be happy
- To learn to appreciate all you have right now
- If you are doing nothing, embrace those moments
- If you still love and miss, then love and miss, then forget
- Daring to take the leap to your future, even though your life is now in balance

Most importantly, it teaches me about how to change, i will read the novel one day, haha..

Hm...now my job is to apply it...haha
Btw, i am thinking, since i am living in Indonesia, i will probably find the suitable places to do all that.. Will surely post it when I know which places i will go for those 3 activities :)

Wish me luck...

Cai Hong / Rainbow

Good lyrics, the very same with i am feeling right now..

Na li you cai hong gao su wo
Tell me where the rainbow is

Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo
Could you still give me back my wish

Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing
Why is the sky so silent?

Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li
All of the clouds are running to me

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
How can I sleep well without seeing your smile

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your voice is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Pretending I'm the last to understand