Pertemuan vs Perpisahan

Sabtu kemaren, ketemu teman-teman lama...trus paket deh di empo...
Nah, di sela-sela menunggu room full, pikiran suka melayang ke mana-mana
Dari pertemuan itu, gw jadi kepikiran hal lain...perpisahan (si teman mau pulang besoknya..ntah kapan baru bisa ketemu lagi)

Terlepas dari konteks itu, kenapa kalau ada pertemuan mesti ada perpisahan?
Gw ngerasa sedih aja seh....trus gw jadi kepikiran...apa selama gw sma, selama gw kuliah...ada hal yang uda gw lewatkan?

• Is there something I miss?
• If there is, what is it?
• How can i get it back?
• Is it too late?

Mungkin itu masi sesama teman yah..gimana kalau dengan keluarga?
Ya, gw tau sih...uda 5 tahun di jakarta sejak SMA, uda jauh dari keluarga selama 5 tahun juga...tapi kenapa baru bisa kepikiran skrg? Mungkin ini kehendak Tuhan, agar gw lebih menghargai waktu-waktu yang gw miliki dengan teman dan keluarga gw, agar tidak ada lagi hal yang bisa bikin gw menyesal.

I am not that strong a person. I am so weak at heart. I may look like so strong on the outside, but i know..i am so weak in the inside.

Ada yang bilang hidup itu seperti sandiwara, kalau peran si aktor uda selesai..maka ditutuplah pementasan tersebut... Kalimat itu ada benernya. Org Barat juga ada pepatah kek gitu..."the ball game is going to end, whether u like it or not". I think...what i can do now is...try to cherish what i have now and don't fall back

So, this is what i am going to say to myself

"Jangan mau nyesel lagi win....hidup itu cuma sekali...hargai dan cintai semua org yg ada di sekelilingmu....Nah, soal kerjaan, be realistic, gk peduli org lain bisa lsg to the top or no...yang penting that is not gonna happen with u! So, bersakit-sakit dahulu deh."

So, here is what i am gonna do:
I am gonna set a target for myself...I must already be successful when i am 28. Out of question! No excuses! Why? Because there is so many things i wanna to for my parents, for my family, for myself...I'll have to be strong and capable for that.

Cherish all the times u have with ur loved ones
The poker game is gonna end, whether u love it or not
Why don't we take the chips and leave the table winners??
Pandanglah segala sesuatu itu sebagai yang pertama dan terakhir
Mengganggap setiap saat sebagai suatu hadiah
Bersyukur masi bisa melakukan hal yang kita lakukan

Recap of the week

Since i am so busy last week, i can't keep my journal daily anymore :(

ok, so...here it goes

16 Nov 2009 - Mon
First day at work...Well, for starter, i had doubt...

• Is this the job i want?
• Is this the one for me?
• Am I doing the right thing by signing this contract? By signing this...it will be 3 years of life...committed to this job...
• I am wondering if i will be able to do this, not to mention, i have to commune 4 hours a day just to get there...which lead to the next question..should i stay where i am or move there?
• If i move there, it will be a new environment, new friends in which u'll have to adapt again, and leaving all those things i hold dear until today?

And the first day is very tiring, maybe because of my body is adjusting...

17 Nov 2009 - Tue
Today, i feel better than 16, but however, still can be categorized as bad...
I still have that voice inside my head that says..."maybe i shouldn't?"

18 Nov 2009 - Wed
Well, day by day is getting better, but until wed...still was in bad category

19 Nov 2009 - Thu
Ya, kurang lebih sama...cuma uda mendingan aja deh

20 Nov 2009 - Fri
Got a call from Triputra Group, but i reject it since i already got a job...
Hari pertama pulang nebeng mobil teman...sampe Binus agak pagian seh...ntar liat deh kalau macetnya parah banget, mungkin mau gk mau mesti ngekost...
I have always been praying to God for giving the best for me...I guess I should add: "Please give me happiness"

21 Nov 2009 - Sat
Well, the very official day off for me since my status is "employed".
Spent the day playing....yep...just playing...trus paket ketemu teman lama....yg ini ntar gw kasi post khusus...

22 Nov 2009 - Sun
More on this later....

Eat through the day

Got this from MH:

- breakfast: bacon/ham + fried eggs NOT creamy stuffs
- caught in traffic: chew some gum NOT coffee, it is best when u are not in a situation u cant control
- to start ur work: a cup of peppermint tea
- Lunchtime: salmon, spinach (green leaves)
- Afternoon: ginseng and fruits with vit c
- If u are gonna work out: expresso and half apple
- dinner: wine + steak
- late at night: cherry juice (help u sleep better)

The Dos:
- If u have cough, have a spoonful of honey
- Make sure ur drink is cold not lukewarm before and after exercise

The Don'ts":
- Soda: slower reaction time
- Tea with milk: milk has protein which reduces tea's relaxing effect
- Whiskey: high alcohol leads to grayer hair
- White chocolate: better have the milk and dark ones
- Warm milk at late night: it helps u stay awake longer

New food revelations

Just wanna note this day down...
Something happened today which can be continued a year from now... or more... who knows

Anyway, just read through internet that instant noodles and the cups are safe.
Well, i don't think so....so, more revelations:
- not more than three times instant noodles a month
- not more than three times "nasi padang"

ya...let's try to stick to it...

Another touching quotes (DH0519)

Just watched an episode of a drama series i missed.
The ending words are touching...

I let go of all those things which seems so ordinary
but when u put them together,
they'll make up a life,
a life that really was one of a kind

It's not hard to die when u know u have lived,
and I did, oh...how i lived

So, here's the thing.
" a life that was one of a kind", hm...it make me thinking. Every people is unique. Every life is unique. Your appearance, your body, your lifestyle even your belongings distinguish you from others...

Well, i do know that i have a life that is one of a kind, given all my history until today. I am grateful to God for that, for making me the way i am...but i am not sure if i have already live my life to the fullest...i wanna be happy, creative, fun, brave and perfect.... The question is "how?"

Maybe spontaneous can be the answer for my question (in my case). I don't wanna have any regret anymore....which leads to my thinking about my job now.. (yea, it all comes back to that nowadays...)

How i would love to be given that chance so that i can prove myself and more importantly, lead my own life, the one i desired.....

Here is another quote: " i love him enough to let him hate me"