Songs I listen to (Nov)

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Nice melody, nice lyrics

The best part i like:
"i love you enough to let you go"
"i want you to move on, so i'm already gone"

Walking around the block (1)

Took a walk around the block again..
With the will to clear my thoughts...
I have made up my mind..

I will still love you...
You don't have to love me back now...
You don't have to treat me as you bf...
But i ask of you to treat me as the one who loves you...

Anyway...i am sure you won't be reading this blog
That is why i am writing this now...

And now, the night falls...
Another Monday will come, yes..i admit, it won't be the best Monday i have
But, to be honest, not my worst either...

Hope you are still well there ...

Eat Pray Love

I like this movie, simply because it kinda teaches me many things i have forgotten:

- To let go of something you should, don't be afraid, BOTH of you deserves to be happy
- To learn to appreciate all you have right now
- If you are doing nothing, embrace those moments
- If you still love and miss, then love and miss, then forget
- Daring to take the leap to your future, even though your life is now in balance

Most importantly, it teaches me about how to change, i will read the novel one day, haha..

Hm...now my job is to apply it...haha
Btw, i am thinking, since i am living in Indonesia, i will probably find the suitable places to do all that.. Will surely post it when I know which places i will go for those 3 activities :)

Wish me luck...

Cai Hong / Rainbow

Good lyrics, the very same with i am feeling right now..

Na li you cai hong gao su wo
Tell me where the rainbow is

Neng bu neng ba wo de yuan wang huan gei wo
Could you still give me back my wish

Wei shen me tian zhe me an jing
Why is the sky so silent?

Suo you de yun dou pao dao wo zhe li
All of the clouds are running to me

You mei you kou zhao yi ge gei wo
Is there a mask for me?

Shi huai shuo le tai duo jiu cheng zhen bu liao
Recalling too much of the past words can accomplish nothing

Ye xu shi jian shi yi zhong jie yao
Perhaps time is a kind of antidote

Ye shi wo xian zai zheng fu xia de du yao
And also the first poison I'm taking now

Kan bu jian ni de xiao wo zen me shui de zhao
How can I sleep well without seeing your smile

Ni de shen ying zhe me jing wo que bao bu dao
Your voice is so close to me, yet I cannot embrace it

Mei you di qiu tai yang hai shi hui rao
Without earth, the sun can still circle around

Mei you li you wo ye neng zi ji zou
Without reasons, I also can walk alone

Ni yao li kai wo zhi dao hen jian dan
You want to go away, I know that is very easy

Ni shuo yi lai shi wo men de zu ai
You said dependence is our obstacle

Jiu suan fang kai dan neng bu neng bie mo shou wo de ai
Even if we break up, but couldn't you not receive my love

Dang zuo wo zui hou cai ming bai
Pretending I'm the last to understand

My apologies

Sunday, 31 Oct 2010

Rain has stopped falling in the earth of Borneo. I am thinking if all of my deeds after that day annoys you. If by any chance, one day you will be reading this...Please know that i don't mean any harm or annoyance....all i did, i did it based on how i still feel about you, that i am just a fool in love. Even though a part of me know that we will never be together again, but a part of me still hope that things will turn out good for both of us.

Even though it wont work...i won't regret this, because i have tried...

Half - Closure

I don't know who or what to blame...
Is it me or is it you?
All i know, we are apart now...

I don't know if we will ever be together again...
But, please don't blame me for still hoping
For i still have feelings for you

The so called word "friend" is not what i want us to be
I love you, still until today...
All these feelings are hurting me more...

If i can, i want to cry so that i can feel better
But, i can't...

If i can, i want to forget you, and erase you from my memory
But, that is also not an option...

I don't know what i am thinking, but i still keep the images of you in my heart...
The one i promised i will keep when we were apart for the very first time...

Please, God..
Let me cry....
I can't possibly be able to keep on living like this
I need some place to vent away my feelings...

Love hurts
Love can make u happy or sad, weak or strong, smart or foolish
All at the same time...

Please, God...
If we are not gonna be together anymore, please let me forget...
If we are to be together again, please give me strength...

Bleeding heart

The title may seem a bit extreme, but that is what i am feeling right now...

I just broke up with my beloved yesterday morning, at about 12 am...
Those happy memories suddenly turn out to be so hurtful, my heart just can't take it anymore..I can't sleep until 4.30 am, and got up at 6.30 am. I am starting to blame all those things around me, which i think is inappropriate.

I was wondering, what will happen if i was not assigned here, and was assigned in jakarta instead, maybe our relationship won't have to end like this.

I loved you once, unconditionally, i don't care who you are, and don't want to ask you for anything else, just that you love me back. But now, you said, all those feelings are gone. What can i do? shattered mirrors can't never be put back together...

You said that you want to try to work on us, but i can't see any efforts, all i am seeing is that i am the only one to support both of our weight.

Farewell, my love

You are and forever will be my first one, you taught me how to love, you taught me how to cry, you taught me how to miss and devote all my feelings to a particular someone.

All those happy memories seems to resurface...i don't know what to do anymore, but keeping you here while your heart is already gone won't have much difference, it will all leads to more heartaches...


Even though when i am writing this, my heart still aches and tear still drops, but i know it is time to let go.. You are in my life once, i will never forget you...