Finding and Keeping A Life Partner

forwarded in an email by a friend... worth reading

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER (by Dov Heller, M.A.)

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner:

Question #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Question #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
Question #3: Is he/she a mensch?
Question #4: How does he/she treat other people?
Question #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

More thorough explanation:

#1 Marry someone who wants the same thing.

#2 Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person (trust). Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry

#3 A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. A good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right.

#4 Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self's absorbed? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

#5 If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. You can't change people.

Lead more with your head, less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible.
Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.