To the one i love...

To the one i love,
(probably when you are reading this, you will need a dictionary and the grammar lessons i gave you, only read this if you think that you miss me, if you are not, don’t continue, just leave....)

When you are reading this, probably i am not by your side anymore...I woke up on 6 November 2010, just thinking about us, about what i want to do with my life, and i know that i can’t stay like this forever...I need to move on with my life, but it is just that i love you so much that i can’t stop. I am afraid i might lose my mind, so i decided that if things can’t work out between us, then i probably have to erase all those memories we have, and erase you from my life completely....

Before i do, i know that i have to write all these memories down, so there will be something to remind me of what we had once....

Honey, I will miss the way you squeeze my hand gently when i put my hand next to your arm when we are together at night. I will miss the way you look at me with your loving eyes whenever i come back to your side from work and you greet me. I will miss the way you smile so stupidly, the way you laugh and the way you react when you are ashamed...(you know when you suddenly fart) :)

I will miss your arms around my waist and my shoulder. I will miss the way you touch my shoulder when we first met and watched a movie together. I will never forget the way we feed each other with cookies or the likes. I miss to see you so happy when you are playing games, and i miss the image of looking at you even from your back when you are playing. I miss the way i hug you at night.

I will never forget how you ask me to move to sleep next to you at night. The way you so ashamedly won’t walk into a store when we were in Tanjung Duren. I love the way you got jealous when i tease you about what i did with my friends (please know that i did that only to see you jealous, because that way i can really feel your love, it never occurs in my mind to love another when i am with you).

I miss the way you call me 'sotoy', i will miss the time when i am waiting happily like a little child waiting for his candy. I really miss the way i call you :’ud ud ud’, and you answer with ‘y y y?’ I will miss the way you sit on my lap, and me touching your hair and face. I will miss the taste of your lips when we kissed (and no, i won’t go any further, you know me....). Most importantly the one thing i will never forget, is the look you gave me when i am going out town for work, as i promise, this image of you, i will forever keep in my heart....

If things doesn’t work out between us, i want you to know, that i will always love you.. There is no one who is right or wrong in a relationship, I believe that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it is both fault. Remember something, when you ask advices from your friend, please know that all they see is the third perspective, they can’t be 100% sure of what you are doing and what you have endured, so, it is always wise to decide things on your own and with your heart. Please remember my advices, don’t ruin your life with games, or anything bad. You know, you are a good person, and you deserve to have a good life.

So i will bid you farewell, you, the first love of my life, please know that, asking me to be your friend while i am still in love with you is cruel and hard. But, i can only try....

There’s also something else you need to know, i want to apologize if i ever make you sad or distract you or probably annoy you. But you have to know, i did all those things because of my love and my care to you, none of my text messages or my calls late at night is for fun only, i really did that because i care about you.

Last but not least...I must tell you something and i will tell you now: “Honey, i will always love you. I will be waiting for you, but please don’t take too long, because i miss you already..."

From the one who love you sincerely...